Julia Dieter (Bio)
It seems the moon has fallen out of
This sky,
Black as crow feathers and twice as thick.
It seems the earth is holding her breath, as if
She could suspend on air the intentions of
Her dreamless nights but
I can feel her trembling I can
Feel her fog creeping across and under my
Bare feet but
I trust I am not sinking.
I till the ground I cannot see with anything
Save for the nerves beneath sour skin
All over bones I am hesitant to call my own and
I am immersed in what I have unearthed as if
I may blindly recognize some inkling of reason but
My moon has abandoned me.
I am shrouded in endless death I am
An exercise on entertaining the fleeting thought that
Crazy can coexist with silence and
Beneath me she is still trembling
Nervous and fully conscious and obsessed
With her own mortality
As I am but she does not know.
Certain of her own shortcomings she knows
Soon
She will shoot, barreling headfirst headlong heading out
Of sight and she will drag us
Unwilling, all of us,
She will drag us to highways that stop our breath completely
Sometimes
I think I love so deeply I kill the blooming buds I hold so reverently
Squeezing essence into my dirty palms so
I may know beauty too
I kill every seed I bury with the fervor of the faith I place in
Its ability to heal the earth and my head along with her.
I am on my knees in her now
Desperately running aching fingers over every piece of her I can get my hands on
She doesn’t mind.
She told me so.
I am in the clay now
If I am covered
Maybe
I can be remade
I am letting her drink now
My fingernails have fallen off
I am watering her with the fount erupting from
The hands clasped against my chest
I speak a prayer but it turns blue on my lips
Unheard
Unheeded
There are no stars left
I cannot move my hands but they move independently and they dig
Ever deeper
There are roots on my wrists now
Putting pressure on wounds too jagged to heal
In the pitch I can see night pour my mud over me
I do not panic.
I can see the moon now.
I can see the moon.
she is smiling at me.