oil lamps & floral wallpaper

Livvie Juhl

as we’re sitting in an opium den
i’m calculating every better version of myself i could be
starting tomorrow

i slide down the balding upholstery of my chaise lounge
melting into the once-plush carpeting

your vowels and consonants are incoherent
sliced to their most basic components
in the ticker tape that continuously runs through my mind

i can’t see you through the haze and im sorry
i’ll blindly stumble through the rest of our existence

i dreamt they covered my body in electrodes
to jolt my consciousness to the same plane
as those i’m surrounded by

the stale air accompanied by the drawn shades makes me nauseous
i take another sip of my sugared absinthe

someday
i won’t feel like i’m here
i won’t feel like i’m anywhere