{"id":234,"date":"2018-11-29T22:46:50","date_gmt":"2018-11-29T22:46:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/english.illinoisstate.edu\/euphemism\/14-1\/?page_id=234"},"modified":"2018-12-05T00:29:05","modified_gmt":"2018-12-05T00:29:05","slug":"the-missed-connection","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/14-1\/the-missed-connection\/","title":{"rendered":"The Missed Connection"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u00a0Joel McReynolds\u00a0(Bio)<\/a><\/h4>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry, Sir.\u00a0 I\u2019m afraid you missed your connecting train.\u00a0 You\u2019ll have to wait for the next one.\u201d\u00a0 Michael Williams let out a sigh. It wasn\u2019t a rude sigh, just a sigh to let the world know that he was disappointed.<\/p>\n

It wasn\u2019t a big deal.\u00a0 They\u2019d let him hop on the next one in a few hours and he\u2019d make it to Ottawa with plenty of time before tomorrow\u2019s conference.\u00a0 As he walked away from the counter, he questioned why he decided to take a train instead of flying, which would\u2019ve been cheaper and faster.\u00a0 It had something to do with a notion in his head that trains were a strange art lost in a bygone age.\u00a0 There was nostalgia mixed with romanticism somewhere near his heart, although he couldn\u2019t pinpoint it.<\/p>\n

Perhaps it was geography and time.\u00a0 Trains seemed to be used rarely these days in the United States.\u00a0 Sure, he took the \u201cL\u201d every day to work in Chicago, but that\u2019s not what he meant by trains.\u00a0 He meant train trains, not metro, public transit trains.\u00a0 When he thought about trains he thought about other countries.\u00a0 When he thought about other countries he thought about strange and wonderful cultures, beauty,\u00a0and excitement.\u00a0 Other countries were the antithesis of the Midwest.\u00a0 They were full of life, and trains carried you to and through other countries.\u00a0 There was something beautiful about that, but with a tinge of melancholy.<\/p>\n

There was also the time aspect.\u00a0 Trains made Michael feel like he was traveling back in time, to a \u201csimpler\u201d age.\u00a0 When romance wasn\u2019t clouded with texts, calls, or camera phones.\u00a0 If you liked someone you had to write them a letter.\u00a0 To visit you had to travel for days. You couldn\u2019t exactly send Young Lady Victoria a dick pic in the post.\u00a0 Romance was better then, he felt.<\/p>\n

And so when he found out he was heading to Ottawa for a conference he had the idea to take a train from the grey Midwest on a hopeful, romantic journey that awaited him in the exotic\u00a0foreign land of Canada. Unfortunately, while Michael\u2019s mind was busy wandering his legs weren\u2019t, so he missed his connecting train and was stuck in Toronto for the next few hours.<\/p>\n

Remembering the reasoning that led to his current predicament, Michael suddenly cheered up.\u00a0 If it was romantic ideals that led to his taking the train, what more perfect scenario is there than to be unwillingly stuck in a new city.\u00a0 He knew from novels that when the protagonist is the least willing, or rather the least expecting, is when the adventure always began.\u00a0 When the male lead was least looking for love is when it\u2019d land right under his nose.\u00a0 This was his moment.<\/p>\n

But, doesn\u2019t thinking about it ruin the premise?\u00a0 I mean, I really am looking for love.\u00a0 But perhaps if I pretend like I am not it will be good enough?<\/i><\/p>\n

Michael wasn\u2019t sure. He felt himself spiraling down a never-ending logical loop.\u00a0 So, naturally, he distracted himself by walking outside the depot and down the street.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t pay much attention to where he went, just began to explore.<\/p>\n

Michael wished he was in Quebec instead of Toronto.\u00a0 Well, really he wished he was in France.\u00a0 But Quebec was the next best thing in proximity to Chicago.\u00a0 At least they spoke a different language.\u00a0 And they had an attitude about it.<\/p>\n

So, really more French-like than they\u2019d care to admit.<\/i><\/p>\n

He smiled to himself.\u00a0 Michael was the kind of guy who laughed at his own jokes.\u00a0 Well, not that intense.\u00a0 Michael was the kind of guy who would smirk at his own jokes.<\/p>\n

Michael was thirty-eight, as of last month.\u00a0 He had celebrated with his mother, brother, brother\u2019s wife and their two little children.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t so much of a birthday party as a dinner party that Michael just happened to be invited to.\u00a0 Michael didn\u2019t have many friends.\u00a0 He had a few good friends from his college days scattered throughout the hemisphere.\u00a0 It was as if on the day of graduation they took turns throwing darts at a map.\u00a0 Michael\u2019s dart landed on where he grew up and where he went to college.\u00a0 What an adventure.<\/p>\n

But here, right now, he was on an adventure.\u00a0 Sure, he wasn\u2019t crossing an ocean or going somewhere vastly different.\u00a0 But it was still an adventure, being in a new place and seeing new things.<\/p>\n

Michael rounded a corner and came upon a short cobblestone road.\u00a0 It was a back alley for a couple tight houses.\u00a0 He walked down the alley paying careful attention to the misshapen stones that formed the road.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve always liked cobblestone roads.\u00a0 I like how the different stones all fit together.\u00a0 It\u2019s not so sterile and functional as asphalt or cement.\u00a0 It feels more organic.\u00a0 There\u2019s a lesson to be learned too.\u00a0 Taking a bunch of things that don\u2019t seem to quite fit together and turning them into a cohesive whole.\u00a0 There\u2019s a keynote speech in there somewhere.<\/i><\/p>\n

He followed the cobblestone path to a park with ample seating room.\u00a0 He decided to sit down on a bench that was near the playground, but not too close.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t want anyone thinking he was a creeper.<\/p>\n

On his way over he passed a woman sitting on a bench.\u00a0 She had dark, red hair; auburn. She looked pretty to Michael.\u00a0 Nothing extraordinary, but she had a beauty to her that was easily recognized.\u00a0 As he passed her, she looked at him and they made eye contact.<\/p>\n

Now this was already over the line as far as Michael was concerned.\u00a0 Eye contact? With a stranger? Unbearable.<\/p>\n

She smiled at him and said, \u201cHello.\u201d\u00a0 Talking to a stranger?\u00a0 Now that was really beyond his comfort. Yet, miraculously, he managed a gentle head nod with an awkward \u201chi.\u201d<\/p>\n

He could feel the warmth on his face as it quickly turned red. Luckily, he was beyond the woman now so she couldn\u2019t see.\u00a0 By the time he completed his mission and reached the bench his burning cheeks had returned to their natural color. He sat down and casually moved his eyes in the direction of the woman.<\/p>\n

She sat on her bench, he sat on his, and that was it.\u00a0 That was the end of the \u201cevent,\u201d if you\u2019d even call it that.\u00a0 Nothing magical happened.\u00a0 For a hopeless romantic like Michael,\u00a0looking at a woman\u2019s ring finger was a common occurrence.\u00a0 He happened to notice that the woman he passed by had no wedding ring.\u00a0 Her slender finger, highlighted by bright blue nail polish, was bare.\u00a0 Which made the lack of anything magical all the more disappointing.<\/p>\n

If my life was a romantic movie something amazing would\u2019ve just happened. It\u2019s a beautiful day and the sun is out.\u00a0 I\u2019m at a park.\u00a0 And there is a beautiful, potentially single woman sitting right over there.\u00a0 I even said hi to her.\u00a0 Man, what a set up<\/i>.<\/p>\n

A push from the wind reverberated through the park, and the leaves of the oak trees rustled in a sacred dance.\u00a0 Michael wondered if they were they willingly joining the wind\u2019s dance or trying to avoid it.<\/p>\n

The leaves, that could\u2019ve been romantic.\u00a0 I enter the park, the sun is shining, and the wind blows.\u00a0 I look up and follow a leaf slowly falling from its once-home.\u00a0 It\u2019s tickled by the wind and drifts over and lands gently on the shoulder of a beautiful woman who is sitting on a bench. She looks up as she brushes the leaf off and our eyes meet.\u00a0 Instant love.<\/i><\/p>\n

Michael\u2019s thoughts drifted into the realm of plant physiology for a short while.\u00a0 He spent several minutes struggling to remember what the dark cycle in photosynthesis was.\u00a0 He quickly gave up and thought about the woman\u2019s blue nail polish instead.<\/p>\n

I bet her favorite color is blue.\u00a0 It reminds her of the sky, which she loves, but more importantly of the ocean.\u00a0 She\u2019s loved the ocean ever since she visited her great-grandmother in Georgia.\u00a0 She was very young, and could barely remember details other than what\u2019s been recounted to her since.\u00a0 Her great-grandmother was dying and she had never met her, so her mother and grandma and her took a road trip down to the small city on the Georgia coast.<\/i><\/p>\n

There are only a few memories she has from that trip.\u00a0 Mostly sounds.\u00a0 Some smells.\u00a0 The smell of antiseptic in the hospital.\u00a0 The sound of stiff blankets moving over a plastic-lined mattress.\u00a0 The smell of the flowers they brought to her great-grandmother. The sounds the insects and birds made, calls she wasn\u2019t used to.\u00a0\u00a0<\/i><\/p>\n

And then there was the ocean.\u00a0 She had a lot more memories of the ocean.\u00a0 The smell of the sea, the taste of the dried salt on her lips, the feel of the sand sticking to the back of her calves, the sound of the waves rhythmically rolling into the shore.\u00a0 They were good memories.\u00a0 Memories she went to when she needed them.\u00a0 When it was dark and stormy outside, and her lights began to flicker, she would sprint to the attic in her head and throw open the door, and there was the ocean.\u00a0 Blue.\u00a0 Her favorite color.\u00a0 The color of her nails.<\/i><\/p>\n

She wore blue nail polish with any outfit.\u00a0 She didn\u2019t care if it didn\u2019t match what she was wearing.\u00a0 It made her happy, to glance down at her fingertips and be reminded of the sea, that big blue basin that could swallow her up.<\/i><\/p>\n

Michael started to feel a weird warmth towards this woman, this stranger.\u00a0 He knew his made up history wasn\u2019t real.\u00a0 He knew she probably just picked blue because it was the first color she saw.\u00a0 But he still felt oddly connected to her.\u00a0 It felt like she had just told him all about her great-grandmother and her love of the ocean.\u00a0 She looked more beautiful now, as well.\u00a0 He remembered her smile and \u201chello\u201d having been very friendly.\u00a0 Perhaps she was looking for him.\u00a0 Perhaps they were looking for each other.<\/p>\n

We\u2019d go on our first date, right now.\u00a0 To some cute coffee place.\u00a0 We\u2019d chat about life.\u00a0 She\u2019d tell me about her schooling, and her dream: to own a business.\u00a0 No, orphans.\u00a0 Something with orphans.\u00a0 She wants to run an orphanage.\u00a0 So she went to school for counseling and management.\u00a0 I\u2019d ask her why she was drawn to that, and she\u2019d tell me about the trip she took in 8th grade to Central America.\u00a0 During the trip she spent some time at an orphanage, and it broke her heart. I\u2019d think \u201cWow, what a woman.\u201d\u00a0<\/i><\/p>\n

Or maybe she\u2019s a doctor.\u00a0 She had a younger sister who died from cancer.\u00a0 So she set out to become a doctor and try to help other people’s little sisters.\u00a0 It was a lonely life, because she poured out her heart and soul for the job.\u00a0 But now she was ready for something different, now she was ready to take a moment and meet a guy.\u00a0 Maybe a guy who was traveling by train through the city for a conference.<\/i><\/p>\n

Michael thought about every moment of that first date.\u00a0 The stories he\u2019d share to woo her, the details he\u2019d leave out to give off just an ounce of mystery.\u00a0 He even thought about what he\u2019d order.\u00a0 He wouldn\u2019t want anything too messy or presumptuous.\u00a0 He also didn\u2019t want anything too small or she\u2019d think he\u2019s cheap.\u00a0 He\u2019d buy her drink, of course.\u00a0 Right?\u00a0 That was the proper thing to do in this type of thing.\u00a0 In the end, he decided he\u2019d get a medium caramel latte, but with no whipped cream.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t want an embarrassing cream moustache during the first date.<\/p>\n

After their date they\u2019d keep up the relationship long-distance.\u00a0 Michael would be thrilled and tell everyone he knew that he was dating a woman from a foreign country.\u00a0 He\u2019d try his best not to let the name of said country slip, though.\u00a0 They could visit each other every now and then, but it was a good thing the internet existed.\u00a0 She\u2019d talk about her work at the hospital-orphanage and he\u2019d do everything he could to make his life sound interesting.<\/p>\n

After several months they would take the rough frontier trail and move into \u201cI love you\u201d territory.\u00a0 A few more months and they\u2019d get engaged.\u00a0 Within a year they\u2019d be married.\u00a0 Blissfully so.\u00a0 So blissful there would be bliss dripping out of their ears.\u00a0 Disgusting.<\/p>\n

We\u2019d have two kids: one girl and one boy.\u00a0 They\u2019d be perfect, just like the rest of our life. They\u2019d be brilliant in school, go to the Ivy League on full-ride scholarships, and then become entrepreneurs, or lawyers, or doctors like their mom.\u00a0 They\u2019d be successful and incredibly well-behaved and loving towards their parents.\u00a0\u00a0<\/i><\/p>\n

After years of saving thousands of children at the hospital-orphanage we\u2019d retire and live in the Bahamas.\u00a0 The ocean there is a much prettier blue than Georgia.<\/i><\/p>\n

Michael stretched his legs out in front of him and looked at the sky.\u00a0 There was a white cloud passing right above him.\u00a0 He followed it with his eyes for a few moments, then closed them and let the thoughts of his future life sink in.\u00a0 He knew it was fake, he really did.\u00a0 Probably.\u00a0 It was probably fake. But either way, it would never happen unless he went to talk to her right now and had that first date over coffee.<\/p>\n

Although shy and awkward, Michael knew that this moment needed to happen if even 1% of his imaginary future would come to pass.\u00a0 He took a few deep breaths and bobbed his head up and down three times.\u00a0 He was psyching himself up to get subbed into the game.<\/p>\n

He stood up and started walking towards the woman\u2019s bench, but stopped as soon as his eyes came up from staring at his shoes.\u00a0 She was gone.\u00a0 She wasn\u2019t there.\u00a0 The bench was empty.\u00a0 At some point during his ridiculous fictitious meanderings she had gotten up and walked away.\u00a0 And that was that.\u00a0 The moment really was over.\u00a0 His chance really was gone.<\/p>\n

He would never get to hear about blue being her favorite color, or about all the orphans she looked after.\u00a0 They\u2019d never fall in love.\u00a0 They\u2019d never have any children.\u00a0 They\u2019d never move to the Bahamas.\u00a0 Michael really wanted to move to the Bahamas.<\/p>\n

As embarrassing as it was to admit to himself, it felt like a part of Michael\u2019s heart had been ripped from him.\u00a0 Like an entire lifetime spent with someone else had been erased.\u00a0 It had never even started, and perhaps that was the worst part.\u00a0 At least if he had asked her to get coffee and she said no it would\u2019ve been a firm denial of his imaginings.\u00a0 But now, who knew?\u00a0 Maybe he really could\u2019ve married her.\u00a0 Maybe they really could\u2019ve had kids.\u00a0 But now he\u2019d never know if there was even a chance.<\/p>\n

He looked at his watch and decided it was time to head back to the train depot.\u00a0 He might as well get out of this city.\u00a0 This city that he entered with hope and left with the same sinking feeling he\u2019d encountered so many times before.\u00a0 Michael was used to this; getting his hopes up and then getting them dashed.<\/p>\n

He walked back the way he came, back over the cobblestones and crossing the busy streets.<\/p>\n

He wouldn\u2019t have had time to go on a date anyway, he told himself.\u00a0 So nothing would\u2019ve worked out.\u00a0 Even if she were interested, he would\u2019ve realized he had to catch his train before they had a chance to talk.\u00a0 That made him feel slightly better.\u00a0 As he passed people on the sidewalk another thought occurred to him: expectations.<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s be realistic. There is no way she ever would\u2019ve matched the stupid thoughts I had in my head. Even if she was everything I imagined, I\u2019d get disappointed as soon as I found out her favorite color wasn\u2019t blue. That\u2019s what\u2019s wrong with me. I build up these impossible hopes and expectations, and then I feel crushed when people don\u2019t meet them.\u00a0 It\u2019s what ruined my relationships in the past, and what ruins my imagination-only pseudo-relationships.<\/i><\/p>\n

It\u2019s probably for the best that I didn\u2019t talk to her. For her sake. Even if she was the most incredible, beautiful person in the world I\u2019d still find something wrong with her.\u00a0 Or I\u2019d tell myself the relationship is supposed to be like \u201cthis\u201d\u2014like it\u2019s supposed to meet my bizarre expectations.\u00a0 No matter what someone would get hurt in the end.<\/i><\/p>\n

By the time he arrived at the train station he had decided to become a celibate monk and live a life of singleness for the sake of the world.\u00a0 A life goal he had made several times before.\u00a0 He began to brush off the ideas of the woman from the park.\u00a0 Overall, it had only been a blip in his life\u2019s line graph.\u00a0 He could move on, he would move on.\u00a0 He\u2019d let go of expectations.<\/p>\n

Sure, if someone fell right in front of him he\u2019d look them in the eyes, but he didn\u2019t need to go searching the non-romantic streets of non-romantic cities to find his perfect soul mate.\u00a0 He resigned himself to the life that had been dealt him.\u00a0 For the first time in a long time, Michael truly could say that he wasn\u2019t looking for love.\u00a0 He wasn\u2019t the hero of a romance, he was the background character in the recorded minutes of a meeting.\u00a0 If he could just accept that and move on with his life he\u2019d be happy maybe, instead of always hoping something beautiful and strange would happen to him.\u00a0 Instead of always hoping to meet eyes with someone and see the universe\u2019s reflection staring back at him, he\u2019d look to people’s eyes and expect to see grey.<\/p>\n

He sat down in his seat and took out the latest library book he was reading.\u00a0 Some stupid romance, an escape into a world where coincidences had hidden agendas and the world always felt more fantastic than it was.\u00a0 A few passengers shuffled past him as he flipped to his bookmark.\u00a0 Near him he heard a surprised \u201cOh\u201d and then a \u201chello, again\u201d and looked up.\u00a0 Across from him sat the woman from the park, holding a cup of coffee.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00a0Joel McReynolds\u00a0(Bio) \u201cI\u2019m sorry, Sir.\u00a0 I\u2019m afraid you missed your connecting train.\u00a0 You\u2019ll have to wait for the next one.\u201d\u00a0 Michael Williams let out a sigh. It wasn\u2019t a rude sigh, just a sigh to let the world know that he was disappointed. It wasn\u2019t a big deal.\u00a0 They\u2019d let him hop on the next… Continue Reading The Missed Connection<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-234","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/14-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/234","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/14-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/14-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/14-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/9"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/14-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=234"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/14-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/234\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":511,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/14-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/234\/revisions\/511"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/14-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=234"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}