{"id":131,"date":"2019-04-09T00:31:20","date_gmt":"2019-04-09T00:31:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/english.illinoisstate.edu\/euphemism\/14-2\/?page_id=131"},"modified":"2019-04-11T19:12:37","modified_gmt":"2019-04-11T19:12:37","slug":"eclipse","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/14-2\/eclipse\/","title":{"rendered":"eclipse"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Nicole Mackowski<\/h4>\n

i<\/span>\u00a0am no\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>stranger\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>to the feeling of\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>anxiety\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>engulfing my entire being\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>and yet<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>nothing\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>could have\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>prepared me for that<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>night.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>i<\/span>\u00a0felt my heart\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>racing<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>my breath<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>short<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>almost as if it had been\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>taken\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>from me.<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>i<\/span>\u00a0couldn\u2019t move no matter how\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>much\u00a0<\/span>i<\/span>\u00a0wanted to.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>everyone\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>around me moving\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>running\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>shouting\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>until finally\u00a0<\/span>i<\/span>\u00a0was pulled\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>out of my painful\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>reverie <\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>into the\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>reality\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>of it all.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>we moved<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>not far\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>but far enough for all the others\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>to feel safe.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>i<\/span>\u00a0was paralyzed\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>unable to shake the many\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>overwhelming\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>feelings from just moments<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>before.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>i<\/span>\u00a0found\u00a0<\/span>myself<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>abandoning\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>every thought in\u00a0<\/span>my<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>mind\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>abandoning\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>everyone in\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>sight.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

i<\/span>\u00a0feel safe in my place of\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>solitude\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>until the noise becomes\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>too much.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>i<\/span>\u00a0feel nothing but terror<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>ringing\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>through every bone in\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>my body.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>i<\/span>\u00a0scream\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>silently<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>until\u00a0<\/span>i<\/span>\u00a0see nothing but\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>you\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>and everything is\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>okay.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

i<\/span>\u00a0am\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>safe\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>finally feeling as<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>my lungs fill\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>once more<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>\u00a0so\u00a0<\/span>i<\/span>\u00a0can\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>utter out\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>a barely convincible\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>i\u2019m<\/span>\u00a0okay.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>and\u00a0<\/span>i<\/span>\u00a0am.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>i<\/span>\u00a0promise.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>thank you\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>thank you\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>thank you\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0
<\/span>i<\/span>\u00a0whisper.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

i<\/span>\u00a0am safe.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Nicole Mackowski i\u00a0am no\u00a0\u00a0stranger\u00a0\u00a0to the feeling of\u00a0\u00a0anxiety\u00a0\u00a0engulfing my entire being\u00a0\u00a0and yet\u00a0nothing\u00a0\u00a0could have\u00a0\u00a0prepared me for that\u00a0night.\u00a0\u00a0i\u00a0felt my heart\u00a0\u00a0racing\u00a0my breath\u00a0short\u00a0almost as if it had been\u00a0\u00a0taken\u00a0\u00a0from me.\u00a0i\u00a0couldn\u2019t move no matter how\u00a0\u00a0much\u00a0i\u00a0wanted to.\u00a0\u00a0everyone\u00a0\u00a0around me moving\u00a0\u00a0running\u00a0\u00a0shouting\u00a0\u00a0until finally\u00a0i\u00a0was pulled\u00a0\u00a0out of my painful\u00a0\u00a0reverie \u00a0into the\u00a0\u00a0reality\u00a0\u00a0of it all.\u00a0\u00a0we moved\u00a0not far\u00a0\u00a0but far enough for all the others\u00a0\u00a0to feel safe.\u00a0\u00a0i\u00a0was paralyzed\u00a0\u00a0unable to shake the many\u00a0\u00a0overwhelming\u00a0\u00a0feelings […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":25,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-131","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/14-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/131","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/14-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/14-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/14-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/25"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/14-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=131"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/14-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/131\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":320,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/14-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/131\/revisions\/320"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/14-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=131"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}