{"id":394,"date":"2020-04-30T20:34:09","date_gmt":"2020-04-30T20:34:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/english.illinoisstate.edu\/euphemism\/15-2\/?page_id=394"},"modified":"2020-05-01T01:28:22","modified_gmt":"2020-05-01T01:28:22","slug":"i-miss-feeling","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/15-2\/poetry\/i-miss-feeling\/","title":{"rendered":"I Miss Feeling"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

by Emily Ruby<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ve never been good at math
Simple equations like\u00a0
9:00am+6=3:00pm
10:00am+6=4:00pm
11:00am+6=5:00pm
12:00pm+6=6:00 pm
It takes too long to solve everyday
I thought I was done with math
I remember when the equation was far more simple
\u00a09:00am+0=9:00am
10:00am+0=10:00am
11:00am+0=11:00am
12:00pm+0=12:00 pm


Speaking of easy
Some things were just easy;
Waking up in a t shirt that wasn\u2019t my own
Giving, giving, giving
Looking up
Sharing my twin sized bed
Silence

I can\u2019t say I don\u2019t miss it
The easy days
Oh, we knew they\u2019d end
Just like\u00a0

The times when we stumbled home and looked at the stars.\u00a0

And the times when we walked to the spot. The same spot.\u00a0

And the times I\u2019d wake up to a warm blanket of arms, still hugging me from the night before.

And the times you\u2019d defend me from cat-calls.

And the times you\u2019d do anything to see my face.\u00a0

And the times you made me sleep on the side touching the wall.

And the times you let me wear your jacket.\u00a0

And the times you made fun of my accent.

And the times I stood on my tippy toes to reach your face

And the times you walked into my apartment holding your training bag.

And the times we played old music and danced.

And the times we watched movies, all day.

And the times we pretended it wouldn\u2019t change.

Now it\u2019s winter
And it\u2019s been winter for months now\u00a0
But I\u2019ve managed to forget that it\u2019s winter
Until now
Because snow sticks\u00a0
Just enough to turn the grass white
And the sky is no longer baby blue
The sky is ash and cloud
All I know is that no one is talking the way you did
No one is walking behind me anymore
And my bed feels too big
I feel big\u00a0
I miss feeling small<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

by Emily Ruby I\u2019ve never been good at mathSimple equations like\u00a09:00am+6=3:00pm10:00am+6=4:00pm11:00am+6=5:00pm12:00pm+6=6:00 pmIt takes too long to solve everydayI thought I was done with mathI remember when the equation was far more simple\u00a09:00am+0=9:00am10:00am+0=10:00am11:00am+0=11:00am12:00pm+0=12:00 pm Speaking of easySome things were just easy;Waking up in a t shirt that wasn\u2019t my ownGiving, giving, givingLooking upSharing my twin sized… <\/p>\n

Read more I Miss Feeling<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":0,"parent":9,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-394","page","type-page","status-publish","entry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/15-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/394","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/15-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/15-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/15-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/9"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/15-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=394"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/15-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/394\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":398,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/15-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/394\/revisions\/398"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/15-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/9"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/15-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=394"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}