if I focused more on what it\u2019s like to breathe
then I\u2019d be happier, more at ease
because what a miracle it is, really,
to breathe
but each time I sit down to meditate
I cheat myself
saying it helps
but really I feel a little
worse each time
because I\u2019m so stressed out
and I really wish this were all
easier,
like they all said it was,
like they all said it should be,
like it used to be for me.
I want to enjoy my life
but I have no idea what it means to want things
out of life
or what I want my life\u00a0
to mean to me.
I do know that I
miss the way holidays\u00a0
felt
and I miss not knowing anything about
climate change
and I miss the way chicken flavored Ramen used to taste\u2014
it\u2019s blander now, for whatever reason
and I\u2019m sadder now, for whatever reason.
I don\u2019t think I\u2019m my best friend\u2019s\u00a0
best friend anymore and I
have a hard time trying not to cry
in front of strangers.
It\u2019s hard to write about,
but I try to write more
honestly now, more from my heart
even though we all like those
little nonsensical phrases\u00a0
we can stick in our pockets
for later, and it\u2019s easy to appeal to the masses
especially when my desire to contribute
is higher than my desire
to tell the truth nowadays
sometimes at least
but it\u2019s alright, no need to feel dismayed,
\u00a0that\u2019s just the program these days,
that\u2019s just the way
of the world nowadays,
I believe.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
by Kristin Heyder if I focused more on what it\u2019s like to breathethen I\u2019d be happier, more at easebecause what a miracle it is, really,to breathebut each time I sit down to meditateI cheat myselfsaying it helpsbut really I feel a littleworse each timebecause I\u2019m so stressed outand I really wish this were alleasier,like they… <\/p>\n