I remember when your name tasted foreign in my mouth
When it was sweet and unscathing
And in a flavor that made my taste buds scream
There were even times I would dream that I forgot it
For the sake of re-tasting your sweet ass toxin of a name
And all the while, you never felt the same about mine.
It was dull
Disappointing and a waste of valuable time
Yet there were moments your mouth watered
And filled with a craving for a little spice
And with a roll of a dice you’d decide if you loved me…
You’d pick and choose which day you’d enjoy the flavor of my name
Like our give, our take, our love was just a fucking game
In those moments you paused,
Wondering if you should spit it out because it was too much,
Or keep it on your tongue, not for the taste, but for the touch,
In an attempt to decide if you liked the spice enough
I, unlike you, was filled with too much shame to know that my name was just as sweet,
And instead I stuffed my mouth with yours until my tongue blistered
And my stomach hurt
And I spat your name back at you,
Not because I didn’t want it,
But because the sweet burned the blisters and my tongue couldn’t take it
So for a long time we bathed in the aftertaste of each other’s names
We enjoyed it’s thickness, the fact that it was viscous gave us comfort we didn’t know we needed
And when you’d wiped yourself clean,
And left me in the shit we both made a mess with,
All I wanted was to taste again your toxin,
To say again your name
Even if it killed me
But let’s face it
I needed you, but you never really needed me,
And spice is an acquired taste, but it never really needed to be sweet.