There are ghosts here
There are ghosts in my house
and they won’t let me leave
I got comfortable here
I made my bed here
I fell asleep here
I made love here
I live here
They coddle and hold me
tell me that I am beautiful
tell me that I am perfect
tell me that I am heavenly
tell me that I am whole
they tell me that I am okay as I am
that I don’t have
to change
to get better
to grow
it’s warmer in places that you grew up in
The spirits guide me to safety
but they cut out the seatbelts and ripped out the brakes
they say that I just need faith
to stay alive and I believe them
that I only needed to trust and that would keep me from busting my head
through the fragile glass
but it didn’t
I don’t blame the faith
I blame the spectors that told me it was the only way
They fed me full of reliance
and codependency and told me it was better like this
They told me that I had to
or that I didn’t really believe
They tricked me into thinking that
I didn’t have a choice
They made me believe that I was wrong
that they knew best
that they knew more
that they were the experts on the world but they’re the ones who are dead.