{"id":227,"date":"2020-11-18T01:10:44","date_gmt":"2020-11-18T01:10:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/english.illinoisstate.edu\/euphemism\/16-1\/?page_id=227"},"modified":"2020-11-20T14:01:34","modified_gmt":"2020-11-20T14:01:34","slug":"lightweight","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/16-1\/poetry\/lightweight\/","title":{"rendered":"Lightweight"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Lightweight\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I often think of the first time we went to a bar.\u00a0
I was resistant because it was a Tuesday and I had a 9 a.m. on Wednesday.\u00a0
I could never say no to you though.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I remember you rounding the corner of my apartment building as I had just got back from my night class.\u00a0
You walked towards me with the widest smile on your face,\u00a0
Wearing the\u00a0cardigan\u00a0you always wore.\u00a0
You were wearing both, the smile and cardigan, when we met in person for the first time.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We went upstairs to my apartment so I could put my stuff away\u00a0
And\u00a0so\u00a0I could pee.\u00a0
My small bladder always made you laugh.\u00a0
You sat on the couch with my roommate as she watched Alice in Wonderland for class.\u00a0
It was always so easy with you.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It was a September night.\u00a0\u00a0
The air was still warm with a cold chill that would give you goosebumps if the breeze lasted long enough.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We walked to Brewe-Ha\u2019s.\u00a0
You said you loved hugs.\u00a0
I said me too.\u00a0
We talked about how we both rarely cried and that we wish we did more.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Little did I know that I would cry more within the next six months than I ever had in my whole life.\u00a0
You helped me feel again.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We drank $2 beers on the patio and talked about our lives,\u00a0
And you told me how you first sat in the back of a cop car when you were in fifth
grade.\u00a0
I had always been a goodie two shoes.\u00a0
I think you liked that about me.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I went to the bathroom and politely asked you not to drug me while you watched my drink.\u00a0
You asked me to take off my glasses so you could see what I looked like without them.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We went to Maggie Miley\u2019s and I took my first tequila shot.\u00a0
You touched my leg when you got up to go to the bathroom and I knew I was done for.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was very tipsy, but you have been drinking since you were 16.\u00a0
You seemed as though you hadn\u2019t had a drink that night.\u00a0
That\u2019s the night where I coined the term \u201clightweight.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had to pee again on our walk back home.\u00a0
I asked you to tell me a story to distract me.\u00a0
You told me about a dream you had as a child with your grandpa, a car, and a big orange cloud.\u00a0
I loved hearing your dreams.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00a0As we approached my building,\u00a0
You asked if you could come up or if I wanted to go back to yours to watch \u201cAdventure Time.\u201d\u00a0
It was 11 p.m., I was close to drunk, utterly infatuated with you, and nervous.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I said I was ready for bed.\u00a0
You hugged me goodnight and that was it.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I texted you explaining how my feelings for you freaked me out.\u00a0
You said you didn\u2019t kiss me because you didn\u2019t want to push my boundaries or make me uncomfortable.\u00a0\u00a0
You have always been so nice and respectful.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I probably could have told you I loved you that night. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\nLightweight\u00a0 I often think of the first time we went to a bar.\u00a0I was resistant because it was a Tuesday and I had a 9 a.m. on Wednesday.\u00a0I could never say no to you though.\u00a0 I remember you rounding the…\n<\/div>\n
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