{"id":239,"date":"2021-04-12T20:05:04","date_gmt":"2021-04-12T20:05:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/english.illinoisstate.edu\/euphemism\/16-2\/?page_id=239"},"modified":"2021-05-02T11:14:40","modified_gmt":"2021-05-02T11:14:40","slug":"tavern-at-the-end-of-the-world","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/16-2\/tavern-at-the-end-of-the-world\/","title":{"rendered":"Tavern at the End of the World"},"content":{"rendered":"\r\n
Tanner Thompson<\/strong><\/span><\/h5>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

The\u00a0bartender\u00a0shut\u00a0off\u00a0the\u00a0small\u00a0television\u00a0that\u00a0hung\u00a0behind\u00a0the\u00a0bar\u00a0after\u00a0the\u00a0newscaster\u00a0finally lost his composure. This was a peculiar night, because not a single patron complained\u00a0about the conclusion of the night. For a bar that hosts only four consistent drinkers, there was\u00a0usually an argument before everybody was walking out the glossy, wooden door. Instead,\u00a0everyone looked down at their empty glasses with sad expressions.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

\u201cSo the world is really going to end? Like that meteor is going to hit the earth?\u201d the first patron\u00a0asked with disbelief.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

\u201cThat\u2019s\u00a0what\u00a0the\u00a0guy\u00a0on\u00a0the\u00a0news\u00a0said,\u201d\u00a0the\u00a0bartender\u00a0explained.\u00a0\u201cMust\u00a0be\u00a0true\u00a0if\u00a0it\u00a0brought\u00a0the\u00a0man to tears\u201d.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

\u201cHe said it\u2019s not going to hit for another seven days…that\u2019s…that\u2019s got to be enough time to do\u00a0something…right?\u201d\u00a0thefirst\u00a0patron\u00a0asked\u00a0with\u00a0a\u00a0voice\u00a0mixed\u00a0with\u00a0defeat\u00a0and\u00a0hope.\u00a0The\u00a0bartender\u00a0shrugged.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

The other three patrons started rambling about lost loves, bucket lists, and doomsday\u00a0bunkers. One drunk needs to call his ex-wife and repair their relationship, another always wanted\u00a0to see Mount Rushmore.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

\u201cI got a bunker that could fit us and all the liquor in this bar if any of you are interested,\u201d said the\u00a0seediest\u00a0patron. He\u00a0sat three stools\u00a0away from\u00a0the others, no\u00a0one ever\u00a0knew why.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

\u201cLook,\u00a0you all have seven\u00a0days\u00a0before\u00a0the\u00a0end\u00a0of\u00a0the\u00a0world.\u00a0Yet,\u00a0you\u00a0sit\u00a0here\u00a0and\u00a0do\u00a0nothing.\u00a0All\u00a0talk. I\u2019d die of a heart attack if you all got up and actually did anything for once,\u201d the bartender\u00a0spoke\u00a0abruptly.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

\u201cAy,\u00a0we\u00a0only\u00a0just\u00a0found\u00a0out\u00a0about\u00a0this\u00a0whole\u00a0world\u00a0ending\u00a0business.\u00a0Give\u00a0us\u00a0a\u00a0break!\u201d\u00a0the\u00a0seedy\u00a0patron shouted.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

\u201cIf\u00a0the\u00a0world\u00a0ending\u00a0isn\u2019t\u00a0going\u00a0to\u00a0light\u00a0a\u00a0fire\u00a0under\u00a0your\u00a0asses,\u00a0nothing\u00a0will.\u00a0I\u2019ll\u00a0see\u00a0you\u00a0all\u00a0in\u00a0your\u00a0usual places tomorrow\u00a0when I open,\u201d\u00a0the bartender said\u00a0harshly.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

\u201cAy,\u00a0fuck\u00a0you,\u00a0bud!\u201d\u00a0the\u00a0seedy\u00a0patron\u00a0screamed,\u00a0pointing\u00a0his\u00a0dirty\u00a0finger\u00a0at\u00a0the\u00a0bartender.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

\u201cClosing time, get out and do something with your seven days,\u201d the bartender said unphased. He\u00a0would never let a patron get to him. If they wouldn\u2019t remember what they said the night before,\u00a0why should he?<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

The seedy patron left in anger, punching the door with his hammer like fists before he\u00a0walked\u00a0out.\u00a0The\u00a0lovelornand\u00a0wanderlustful\u00a0patrons\u00a0followed\u00a0calmly.\u00a0When\u00a0the\u00a0door\u00a0closed,\u00a0the\u00a0bartender was left with the defeated patron looking at his empty glass.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

\u201cIt\u2019s\u00a0time\u00a0to\u00a0go,\u00a0sir.\u201d\u00a0the\u00a0bartender\u00a0said.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

The patron just sat there. He looked as if he was trying to navigate his brain to come up with the\u00a0right\u00a0emotion.\u00a0Was he sad?\u00a0Scared?\u00a0Angry?<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

\u201cCome\u00a0on,\u00a0life\u00a0can\u2019t\u00a0be\u00a0that\u00a0good\u00a0if\u00a0you\u00a0spend\u00a0every\u00a0night\u00a0here\u00a0drinking\u00a0Guinness\u00a0and\u00a0watching\u00a0the\u00a0White Sox lose,\u201d the bartender said as if it would\u00a0be comforting.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

\u201cI\u00a0love\u00a0my\u00a0life,\u201d\u00a0the\u00a0patron\u00a0said\u00a0as\u00a0his\u00a0voice\u00a0started\u00a0to\u00a0crack.\u00a0\u201cI\u00a0love\u00a0this\u00a0bar.\u00a0All\u00a0I\u00a0want\u00a0is\u00a0a\u00a0pint\u00a0of Guinness and baseball and my friends.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

\u201cThese are your friends?\u201d the bartender asked, astonished.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

\u201cYou\u2019re\u00a0all\u00a0my\u00a0friends,\u201d\u00a0the\u00a0patron\u00a0responded.\u00a0He\u00a0was\u00a0on\u00a0the\u00a0verge\u00a0of\u00a0tears.\u00a0He\u00a0pounded\u00a0his\u00a0fist\u00a0on\u00a0the bar, as if to scare the tears\u00a0back into his eyes.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

The bartender looked at him for a moment, grabbed his glass, and poured him another drink. He\u00a0poured himself one too. He placed the glasses in front of the patron.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

\u201cOn the house,\u201d the bartender said as he picked up glass to toast the patron.\u00a0\u201cWhy?\u201d\u00a0the patron asked,\u00a0\u201cIt\u2019s closing time.\u201d\u201cCause\u00a0bad\u00a0news\u00a0goes\u00a0down\u00a0better\u00a0with\u00a0a\u00a0beer,\u201d\u00a0the\u00a0bartender\u00a0proclaimed.\u00a0They\u00a0clinked\u00a0their\u00a0glasses and began to drink their last drink of the night.<\/p>\r\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Tanner Thompson The\u00a0bartender\u00a0shut\u00a0off\u00a0the\u00a0small\u00a0television\u00a0that\u00a0hung\u00a0behind\u00a0the\u00a0bar\u00a0after\u00a0the\u00a0newscaster\u00a0finally lost his composure. This was a peculiar night, because not a single patron complained\u00a0about the conclusion of the night. For a bar that hosts only four consistent drinkers, there was\u00a0usually an argument before everybody was walking out the glossy, wooden door. Instead,\u00a0everyone looked down at their empty glasses with sad expressions. \u201cSo… Continue Reading Tavern at the End of the World<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":42,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-239","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/16-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/239","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/16-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/16-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/16-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/42"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/16-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=239"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/16-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/239\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":978,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/16-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/239\/revisions\/978"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/16-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=239"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}