{"id":348,"date":"2021-04-14T02:08:22","date_gmt":"2021-04-14T02:08:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/english.illinoisstate.edu\/euphemism\/16-2\/?page_id=348"},"modified":"2021-04-28T20:55:07","modified_gmt":"2021-04-28T20:55:07","slug":"im-sorry-dean-walley","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/16-2\/im-sorry-dean-walley\/","title":{"rendered":"I’m Sorry, Dean Walley"},"content":{"rendered":"\r\n
Jennifer Coe<\/span><\/strong><\/h5>\r\n

 <\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Based on actual events.<\/em><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

 <\/p>\r\n

In second grade,<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

I took second place<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

in the state poetry contest.<\/p>\r\n

 <\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

This was a contest for kids<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

in first through sixth grade,<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

which doesn\u2019t seem incredibly fair<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

to the first or second or even third graders,<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

by the way.<\/p>\r\n

 <\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

The world does seem to be full<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

of these little injustices<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

doesn\u2019t it?<\/p>\r\n

 <\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

My mother was quite excited.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Proud of me,<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

her talented mini bard,<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

until<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

she<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

saw<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

my<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

poem.<\/p>\r\n

 <\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

It was called Hugs.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

And that\u2019s also what it was about.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

It extolled the virtues of warm embraces<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

and listed exactly who hugs were good for.<\/p>\r\n

 <\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Spoiler:<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

hugs<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

are<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

good<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

for<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

everyone.<\/p>\r\n

 <\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

It spoke of the type of people<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

who found hugs really, really delightful,<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

but I probably spelled it deliteful<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

because I was not a gifted speller.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

And that spelling makes more sense,<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

I still think.<\/p>\r\n

 <\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Oh, Dean Walley,<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

if you\u2019re reading this<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

\u2014 which would be quite odd<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

because Google just told me you\u2019re dead \u2014<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

but if you are somehow,<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

inexplicably<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

reading this from the great beyond,<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

you are probably starting to catch on<\/p>\r\n

 <\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

to<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

what<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

is<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

going<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

on<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

here.<\/p>\r\n

 <\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

I used your words, Dean Walley.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Your beautiful words,<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

for my deliteful poem.<\/p>\r\n

 <\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

I had a poster print<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

of your most magnificent opus, Hugs,<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

hanging on the wall<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

of the modest little bedroom<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

I shared with my older sister,<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Melissa.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

I read your words every day,<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

every night,<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

burned into my brain.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

My mother bought the poster<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

at the Hallmark.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

It was probably on sale.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

That woman loved a discount.<\/p>\r\n

 <\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

When we studied poetry<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

in the second grade,<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

and eventually started<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

writing our own,<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

I honest to god thought<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

I was just being clever.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

I have a great memory.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

I remember thinking<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

I was really going to knock<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Mrs. Poe\u2019s socks off.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

The arrogance of youth.<\/p>\r\n

 <\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

I almost got away with it, too,<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

until my mother read my poem.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

But I need you to know,<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

I didn\u2019t actually realize<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

I was getting away with a thing.<\/p>\r\n

 <\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

I<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

was<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

just<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

being<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

clever,<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Dean Walley.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

You have to believe me!<\/p>\r\n

 <\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

My mom took me right in<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

to speak to the principal<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

and I remember feeling<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

intense, burning shame<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

but also felt lost<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

in a deep abyss<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

of confusion<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

because (as previously stated)<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

I thought I was just being clever.<\/p>\r\n

 <\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Eventually, I confessed to my crime.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

They had to hear it from my mouth,<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

they kept saying,<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

which was not deliteful.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Not delightful, either,<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

if I\u2019m being honest.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Which I am<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

today, at least.<\/p>\r\n

 <\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

I was summarily disqualified<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

from the state poetry contest<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

which was the right thing<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

to happen,<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

I know<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

now.<\/p>\r\n

 <\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

I need you to know,<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Dean Walley,<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

that I am truly sorry<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

I stole your poem<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

and tried to pass it off<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

as my own.<\/p>\r\n

 <\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

And even sorrier<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

that it only won<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

second place<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

in a poetry contest,<\/p>\r\n

 <\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

for<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

kids<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

in<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

first<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

through<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

sixth<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

grade.<\/p>\r\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Jennifer Coe   Based on actual events.   In second grade, I took second place in the state poetry contest.   This was a contest for kids in first through sixth grade, which doesn\u2019t seem incredibly fair to the first or second or even third graders, by the way.   The world does seem to… Continue Reading I’m Sorry, Dean Walley<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":44,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-348","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/16-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/348","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/16-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/16-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/16-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/44"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/16-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=348"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/16-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/348\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":846,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/16-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/348\/revisions\/846"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/16-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=348"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}