{"id":363,"date":"2021-04-14T02:39:18","date_gmt":"2021-04-14T02:39:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/english.illinoisstate.edu\/euphemism\/16-2\/?page_id=363"},"modified":"2021-05-02T11:45:41","modified_gmt":"2021-05-02T11:45:41","slug":"the-first-thing-you-need-to-know-about-sleep-paralysis","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/16-2\/the-first-thing-you-need-to-know-about-sleep-paralysis\/","title":{"rendered":"The First Thing You Need to Know About Sleep Paralysis: You Are Not Dying"},"content":{"rendered":"\r\n
Kevin Wilson<\/span><\/strong><\/h5>\r\n

 <\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

I have faced death.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

I was asleep, but not asleep \u2013<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

You know, that half-awake state.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

I was taking a nap, and it was nearing the time for me to wake,<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

I had left my bedroom door open because the heat was on,<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

With the door closed, it would get too hot to sleep;<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

I needed airflow.<\/p>\r\n

 <\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Now, you should know, stress had been getting to me<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

In the form of nightmares.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Some nights before, I had a dream.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

I was floating horizontally in darkness \u2013 in empty space<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

as if someone snuffed out the lives of every star.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

There was nothing \u2013 no light \u2014 only me.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

I could hear the rhythm of my breath, watch as my chest raised and dropped.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

And as I watched myself exhale, my hands rose,<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

In unison they moved up my bare chest.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

my right hand clutches a surgical blade<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

my left hand stretches out the skin<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

the right cuts through the tissue that should be over my sternum \u2013<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

there\u2019s no bone, I am split open to reveal the cavity in which sits my beating heart.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Slowly, beating, my right hand reaches inside \u2014<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

my fingers wrap around my life source \u2014<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

I feel the pulse in my hand \u2014<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

And I pull.<\/p>\r\n

 <\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

The arteries stretch and quickly snap like rubber bands.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

The pulse has stopped,<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

I hold my heart out in front of me,<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Look at my life, surrounded by the backdrop of darkness.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

I am prepared to let go.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

But before I can, a second pair of hands appear.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

I do not see who they belong to,<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

But they take my heart from me \u2013 in both hands \u2013<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

They place it back in my chest and begin to stitch it in place.<\/p>\r\n

 <\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

That was a dream, but this other event \u2013<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

As I said, I was half awake,<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Door open, laying in my bed.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

I open my eyes thinking, time to get up.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

I couldn\u2019t, I couldn\u2019t do anything<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

I couldn\u2019t move, I couldn\u2019t speak.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Like my heart all over again \u2013 no control \u2013 I could only watch.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

I try to call out to my roommate but only manage an inaudible scream<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

I start to lose consciousness, and right then and there<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

I knew what was happening:<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

No bodily control, no vocal ability,<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

I was having a stroke.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

And as my vision gradually grew darker \u2013 I knew that it was the end,<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

I knew \u2014 this is death.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

That was not okay,<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

There was too much I was just getting back:<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

I was feeling happy, excited for my future;<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

I was feeling loved by friends that just want the best for me;<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

I was feeling hopeful about a girl for the first time in a while.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

These thoughts went through my mind<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

and I thought I\u2019m going to miss so much.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

In that moment \u2014 the darkness took over my vision \u2014<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

I took in and let out a breath \u2014<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

my breathing stopped.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

I lay, motionless \u2014<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Floating horizontally in darkness \u2014<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

In a state of nonexistence.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

I let out one last helpless scream \u2013<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

my eyes snap open,<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

I am alive.<\/p>\r\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Kevin Wilson   I have faced death. I was asleep, but not asleep \u2013 You know, that half-awake state. I was taking a nap, and it was nearing the time for me to wake, I had left my bedroom door open because the heat was on, With the door closed, it would get too hot… Continue Reading The First Thing You Need to Know About Sleep Paralysis: You Are Not Dying<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":44,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-363","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/16-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/363","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/16-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/16-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/16-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/44"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/16-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=363"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/16-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/363\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1002,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/16-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/363\/revisions\/1002"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/16-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=363"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}