{"id":510,"date":"2021-04-15T02:54:23","date_gmt":"2021-04-15T02:54:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/english.illinoisstate.edu\/euphemism\/16-2\/?page_id=510"},"modified":"2021-04-28T20:40:36","modified_gmt":"2021-04-28T20:40:36","slug":"falling-inward","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/16-2\/falling-inward\/","title":{"rendered":"Falling Inward"},"content":{"rendered":"\r\n<h5 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong><span style=\"font-size: 12pt\">Cara Forbes<\/span><\/strong><\/h5>\r\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">A twisted love took a soul bursting at the seams with liveliness<br \/>And stitched it up with threads of its own self-hatred,<br \/>Condemning this spirit, full of the light of a thousand stars,<br \/>To spend her life in a cage of her own timidity and doubt.<\/p>\r\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Here she grew a skin of barbed wire, mutilating her naked body,<br \/>Blanketing delicate curves in juxtaposing harshness,<br \/>Beautiful and treacherous.<\/p>\r\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I can not leave this place.<br \/>How could I when tumbling within the patterns of my own soul is where I find the most comfort,<br \/>Alone with the only one whose love I will ever accept?<\/p>\r\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I self-soothe with a dexterity achieved through a lifetime of practice,<br \/>A childhood spent cradling my own heart in calloused hands,<br \/>The ensemble of my head well-versed in a chorus of my own suffering.<br \/>Though present me with your pain and I lose coherence, I stumble and fall<br \/>Back into the familiarity of my own safe embrace.<\/p>\r\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">My empathy extends to the ends of the universe,<br \/>But the universe is trapped within the confines of my own body,<br \/>Imprisoned alongside me in this wretched chain-linked prison.<br \/>I\u2019ve made a home here, I nurture my universe within,<br \/>Still it is not enough.<br \/>I turn a blind eye to its desperate attempts to free itself from my body.<\/p>\r\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I am freed from within but trapped from without:<br \/>The paradox of my life.<br \/>When who I know myself to be lies just beyond the reach of my own self-expression,<br \/>I drown myself in fantasies of far off adventures and fairytale lands.<br \/>I run, hands outstretched, grasping for the green light, the promise of happiness lying just ahead.<br \/>Just ahead, just ahead, just ahead,<br \/>But forever out of reach.<\/p>\r\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I escape through daydreams of places,<br \/>While others escape through daydreams of me\u2014<br \/>The tragic song and dance of lives discontented.<br \/>I relish in the moment they get too close, slicing open,<br \/>Skin on mutilated skin.<\/p>\r\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Let her stitch you up with threads of her own self-hatred.<\/p>\r\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Cara Forbes &nbsp; A twisted love took a soul bursting at the seams with livelinessAnd stitched it up with threads of its own self-hatred,Condemning this spirit, full of the light of a thousand stars,To spend her life in a cage of her own timidity and doubt. &nbsp; Here she grew a skin of barbed wire,&hellip; <a class=\"continue\" href=\"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/16-2\/falling-inward\/\">Continue Reading Falling Inward<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":43,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-510","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/16-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/510","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/16-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/16-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/16-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/43"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/16-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=510"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/16-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/510\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":831,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/16-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/510\/revisions\/831"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/16-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=510"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}