{"id":541,"date":"2021-04-15T19:52:44","date_gmt":"2021-04-15T19:52:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/english.illinoisstate.edu\/euphemism\/16-2\/?page_id=541"},"modified":"2021-04-28T21:00:36","modified_gmt":"2021-04-28T21:00:36","slug":"lost-in-a-city-park","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/16-2\/lost-in-a-city-park\/","title":{"rendered":"LOST IN A CITY PARK"},"content":{"rendered":"\r\n
John Grey<\/span><\/strong><\/h5>\r\n

 <\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

A random, adult muted child, myself,<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

one more aftermath of innocence and guilt,<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

walking through the garden,<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

analogous to that. incessant lines,<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

and all that’s against them, like human wakefulness,<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

I hum along, just like a buzz would do,<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

as a person may be said to,<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

as deep memory and gold broaden their glow.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

I am unable to turn back,<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

my body bent by instruments and blue-notes,<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

but something must be elsewhere<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

otherwise my constant searching,<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

my subject matter,<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

are merely interchangeable whims.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Meanwhile, clouds commute<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

between death and living,<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

my sorrow reaches into another world,<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

every dresser, alarm clock, pillow,<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

an extension of the misery,<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

even the figure who passes me<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

going in the opposite direction.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Gesture: How in the world?<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Where is the softness that must be my relief?<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Human touch, that warm addition to the rituals of sleep?<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

I listen like bees do to the machination of their hive,<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

identical to the stop and go of traffic lights \u2013<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

in a car one thinks to obey,<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

in a garden, there\u2019s instinct,<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

a bee in its angelic breastplate,<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

a pool of last night\u2019s rain\u2026<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

just music.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

I thought I knew how lines are drawn,<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

the logical schemes \u2013<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

so what\u2019s that moving in the distance?<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

I seem to be in isolation from itself,<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

touched by danger or despair,<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

when what I really need are<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

bedspread, rug and curtain.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Anything that won\u2019t let loose the terrain in me,<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

whose loving doesn\u2019t permeate mine,<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

nor overflow with celestial song \u2013<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

I feel as if I\u2019ve been in this park for hours,<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

regretful bribed by diffuse passageways of night,<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

all smooth as shadow, moonlight \u2013<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

a strange feeling of everything taken away \u2013<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

talking and chanting,<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

this tangent in relationship to sky.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

And air this year<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

is thinner than light,<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

the transparent skin of the dream inside the dream.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

I continually wake up in a different place,<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

walking in concentric circles.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

No one takes responsibility \u2013<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

what feeling has brought me here, what story?<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Whatever has happened?<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Perspective sacrifices truth for want.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Trees all around<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

but who listens to what\u2019s green?<\/p>\r\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

John Grey   A random, adult muted child, myself, one more aftermath of innocence and guilt, walking through the garden, analogous to that. incessant lines, and all that’s against them, like human wakefulness, I hum along, just like a buzz would do, as a person may be said to, as deep memory and gold broaden… Continue Reading LOST IN A CITY PARK<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-541","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/16-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/541","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/16-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/16-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/16-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/9"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/16-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=541"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/16-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/541\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":852,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/16-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/541\/revisions\/852"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/16-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=541"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}