{"id":95,"date":"2021-03-29T16:42:10","date_gmt":"2021-03-29T16:42:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/english.illinoisstate.edu\/euphemism\/16-2\/?page_id=95"},"modified":"2021-04-28T17:33:46","modified_gmt":"2021-04-28T17:33:46","slug":"a-looting-in-a-grocery-store","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/16-2\/a-looting-in-a-grocery-store\/","title":{"rendered":"A looting in a Grocery store"},"content":{"rendered":"\r\n
Flora Seidler<\/span><\/strong><\/h5>\r\n

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I\u2019m struggling to strap my mask over my ears as I walk through the sliding doors into work, relieved as the sweat on my forehead begins to dry from the air conditioning. I wave at coworkers as I struggle to clock in because the machine is so\u00a0old\u00a0and the buttons are so stiff. I walk up to the service desk and wonder if today my supervisor will remember to ask me if I have any symptoms of COVID-19, as if I would be there if I did. She doesn\u2019t.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\r\n

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I rush to my register, log in, turn on my light that indicates my aisle is open and call the next customer over\u00a0with an\u00a0erroneously eager attitude that raises my voice a few octaves. I observe the seemingly endless line of customers as a consequence of it being Sunday afternoon. The shift begins as usual, some customers wear masks while others complain about\u00a0wearing\u00a0them saying \u201cI don\u2019t buy into these masks.\u201d With each occurrence, I have to decide whether to keep a loyal, happy, Jewel-Osco smile on my face and let them think they are right. I reply with a \u201cstay safe and have a nice day!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\r\n

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I ask my co-workers what they think about the riots ensuing all over the country and if they heard about George Floyd. We compare the absurdity of the different videos we have seen of policemen running down protesters, arresting them, and degrading them while also attempting to conceal our phones from our manager.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\r\n

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While I scan boundless groceries, I become distracted by a police officer walking in. He walks straight to the manager in customer service, he speaks into his vest. First, my customer and I exchange looks, then\u00a0I turn around and raise my eyebrows\u00a0to my coworker. My first thought was, \u2018Did someone steal something\u2019?\u00a0<\/p>\r\n

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For some reason, I feel a pit in my stomach and a sweat on my forehead. The fluorescent lights seem to trap me in time. A middle-aged woman comes into my line and tells us there are looters in the next town over and to \u201cBe safe!\u201d. Another customer says that the Target down the street is being closed down early and barricaded because they are on their way to our town next, and to \u201cBe safe!\u201d. I can\u2019t look at my phone because of the never-ending line of customers who each have something\u00a0disapproving\u00a0to say\u00a0regarding the protestors\u00a0and each telling me to stay safe, as if I am actually in danger. Everybody seems to be confusing\u00a0the concept of\u00a0looters\u00a0and\u00a0protestors\u00a0and lumping them into the same category of people who just want to destroy\u00a0everything in sight. Most\u00a0customers\u00a0try to tell me that these protests are dangerous and unnecessary\u00a0and uncalled for.\u00a0With each comment and with the knowledge that the police officer is still there, I finally identify the feeling I have as uneasiness and fright.\u00a0Eventually,\u00a0a\u00a0customer asks\u00a0me if\u00a0the store\u00a0is\u00a0closing early, which causes me to panic even more.\u00a0My manager\u00a0swiftly approaches my register\u00a0to tell both me and the customer that we will be closing at five\u00a0o\u2019clock. instead of 12\u00a0o\u2019clock, making sure to inform each register after mine.\u00a0Everyone\u00a0seems to be panicked, trying to\u00a0quickly collect\u00a0their groceries and go before looters come and attack them for being white,\u00a0since that is what they assume is being protested, ironically.\u00a0And my pale skin informs them that I must agree, this is an undeserving attack on us white people.\u00a0<\/p>\r\n

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I live in a town where I have to second guess putting a \u201cBlack Lives Matter\u201d sign in my front lawn because of the high likelihood of it getting stolen, so this kind of reaction to the protests that are meant\u00a0to defend Black lives isn\u2019t so surprising.\u00a0<\/p>\r\n

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Finally,\u00a0Cassandra\u00a0comes and relieves me for my break. I rush up the stairs\u00a0into the break room, almost forgetting to log out\u00a0of my register, and\u00a0immediately check\u00a0my phone (I have been itching to\u00a0check\u00a0my phone throughout my shift to check for updates on the protests that have taken over every social media platform and see if looters are actually coming to the store, but the Sunday afternoon rush has kept me occupied and away from my phone. The only source of information I have been forced to rely on all day is the word of republican customers) to\u00a0check twitter. I see more police violence.\u00a0Videos of police cars running down protestors, peaceful bystanders getting pepper sprayed floods my feed.\u00a0I am alone in the break room. I text my friends and my\u00a0mom asking them\u00a0if they are seeing\u00a0what is going on. They\u00a0respond telling\u00a0me to stay safe. I wonder what it is going to look like when we leave the store. Will\u00a0we be escorted out? Will\u00a0our ears be bombarded with police sirens? Will\u00a0we have to\u00a0run to our car? Will my car be okay?\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\r\n

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After\u00a0my fifteen-minute break is over, I walk back down.\u00a0The store\u00a0seems to be quieter,\u00a0with less people. I get a chance to think rationally, at last. This is the first time where most of the conversation\u00a0with customers\u00a0has not been about the pandemic. Eventually, the time\u00a0in which\u00a0we were supposed to close early passes.\u00a0The police officer from earlier has left.\u00a0The store is\u00a0down to a normal number of customers and workers who are buying late night snacks. While everything outside the store seems to be falling apart rapidly, everything inside stays the same. The fluorescent lights have not\u00a0dimmed;\u00a0I can\u2019t tell if it\u2019s dark outside yet. I hear cashiers in aisles\u00a0three\u00a0and\u00a0four\u00a0asking \u201cSo are we being looted or not?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\r\n

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It is around\u00a0seven o\u2019clock\u00a0now.\u00a0The store is quiet, as it usually is on Sunday night, yet there is still a sense of doom hanging in the air. All of us still seem to be waiting for something\u00a0to happen. A Black woman comes to my aisle and places down a bag of chips and a\u00a0soda. It occurred to me:\u00a0this is my first Black customer of the day. Everyone that has come in has been\u00a0mostly\u00a0white and has been warning me about Black looters all day. This woman isn\u2019t a looter. Is this what I have been waiting for?\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\r\n

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A police officer\u00a0different from before\u00a0steps\u00a0in\u00a0to\u00a0line\u00a0next to her and places a water bottle on the motion censored belt.\u00a0One customer makes sure to thank him for his service. The woman seems to be above it all, pretending like he is not there, and\u00a0I couldn\u2019t determine if it was just me who felt the tension. I remember thinking \u2018Is he looking at her?\u2019, \u2018Am I overreacting?\u2019, \u2018Is he going to say something to her, accuse her?\u2019, \u2018Would I step in and defend her?\u2019, \u2018Does she even need me to defend her?\u2019\u00a0But they both buy their snacks, one after the other, and leave\u00a0<\/p>\r\n

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Finally, my shift is over. I brace myself for what I am going to see. Hold my keys in my hand, getting ready to leave as soon as possible. There are less than twenty cars spread across the\u00a0lonely\u00a0parking lot. Traffic on the streets surround the store as\u00a0usual. It seems as if the panic throughout the day was misplaced, false, and a waste of time.\u00a0That doesn\u2019t mean that there isn\u2019t panic across the rest of the country.\u00a0Why wasn\u2019t anyone panicking about the acts of brutality that have been ensuing instead?\u00a0Why aren\u2019t we panicking about the appalling behavior of the police that has caused so much pain and loss?\u00a0Why did I let these people scare me?\u00a0Why have I let myself forget that it isn\u2019t people who are looting that is destroying the country, but it is the condonement of the people who are meant to protect us that are provoking this outrage?\u00a0<\/p>\r\n

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I come home to my mom and dad sitting on the couch in front of the tv with nonstop clips of\u00a0stores being robbed and destroyed to rubble. The news shows a constant loop of\u00a0people breaking windows and emptying stores until the shelves\u00a0are utterly\u00a0empty,\u00a0while\u00a0contrastingly\u00a0Twitter is constantly\u00a0updating\u00a0with new videos shared by young people on the streets protesting\u00a0for their rights.\u00a0I am suddenly hit with the realization that my generation is being exposed to completely different content than the older generation. We are seeing devastating violence ensued by our law enforcement, tweets from the president that say, \u201cwhen the looting starts, the shooting starts\u201d, while the older generation only sees Black people looting a Target with no explanation other than they are violent and can\u2019t let go of the past. No testimonies of outrage for those who have been killed\u00a0are\u00a0being focused on, only the destruction of their beloved Target. And this is why opposition to BLM calls for more funding for the police, more guns instead of justice for George Floyd, and countless other unarmed Black men and women who have been killed and their families left with no\u00a0recompense, No Justice, No Peace.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\r\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Flora Seidler   I\u2019m struggling to strap my mask over my ears as I walk through the sliding doors into work, relieved as the sweat on my forehead begins to dry from the air conditioning. I wave at coworkers as I struggle to clock in because the machine is so\u00a0old\u00a0and the buttons are so stiff.… Continue Reading A looting in a Grocery store<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":40,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-95","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/16-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/95","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/16-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/16-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/16-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/40"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/16-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=95"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/16-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/95\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":753,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/16-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/95\/revisions\/753"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/16-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=95"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}