Thomas Jefferson was quite
the gentleman if mem’ries right;
he was among the best of guys —
now, who am I to criticize?
He’s rather rich, with fancy clothes,
and what he wants, well, that’s what goes;
he is the master of the manse —
he owns each inch of this expanse.
There’s luxuries a statesman craves,
so that explains 6oo slaves;
this is our way to be genteel —
those Northeners will have to deal.
‘Tho Monticello’s rather grand,
Mulberry Row’s a bit offhand;
if you’ve seen one slave shack you’ve seen
a thousand, they’re so damned routine.
With Martha Jefferson, we’ve learned
almost nothing, the letters burned;
and portraits of her don’t exist
so when she died, she wasn’t missed.
But it’s been said, not to refute,
that Sally Hemings was quite cute;
that weekend with the babysitter
is still trending on twitter.
He went to France to help them with
democracy which proved a myth;
the beautiful words that he said
might contradict the life he led.
Sure, everybody justifies
which principles to compromise;
and ‘tho this is the tourist’s guide,
there are some details we elide.
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