The first time I saw you<\/strong><\/p>\n I silently took notes while you laughed loudly with your friends<\/p>\n We were so different: the sun and a cloud.<\/p>\n I liked school okay. But I\u2019d rather study you,<\/p>\n Fold my notes up to replicate how your eyes crinkle when you laugh.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n That proud smile, every time you were the center of attention<\/p>\n Splitting the perfect face in two<\/p>\n I was humiliated when eyes were on us.<\/p>\n You loved it. The warmth in your grin melted my worries.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The crescendoing giggle<\/p>\n Proudly echoing from the walls<\/p>\n In even the quietest room<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The immediate, reassuring responses<\/p>\n Promising to remember, always<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The promise of hands brushing gently,<\/p>\n The flames beneath my cheeks<\/p>\n Whenever you made me laugh.<\/p>\n You would tease me every time.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n I knew, though, you liked how funny I found you.<\/p>\n Or maybe, you just liked the attention.<\/p>\n You liked feeling seen. You liked feeling special.<\/p>\n What about me, though? What if I wanted to feel seen, special?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n A year after I first saw you<\/p>\n The embers of the fire<\/p>\n Glowing bright in the dark<\/p>\n But not strong enough to revamp the flames<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Threatening, growing fire<\/p>\n Burning behind your eyelids just moments before.<\/p>\n Bright red replacing the most beautiful green I\u2019ve seen.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The notification of a text sent<\/p>\n Ensuring the message was received. Seen.<\/p>\n Just ignored.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The last time I saw you<\/p>\n Was winter<\/p>\n Though only June.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The absence of the warm hands, the reassuring responses<\/p>\n Was the worst<\/p>\n Replaced by formalities<\/p>\n Blinding smiles turned to polite grins.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The conversations like playing Solitaire<\/p>\n You were there.<\/p>\n But were you?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Promises and apologies built from paper<\/p>\n Origami \u201csorries\u201d beautifully constructed<\/p>\n There for show, not to last.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Now, months since I\u2019ve seen you<\/p>\n Every moment we shared just a snapshot in my mind<\/p>\n Every date, every giggle<\/p>\n Just a polaroid in my mind<\/p>\n Yet another image captured on paper for me to burn with my friends<\/p>\n I didn\u2019t need you, they say.<\/p>\n I\u2019m better off, they say.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Such a cliche, huh?<\/p>\n Crying over a boy that didn\u2019t even pay attention in class<\/p>\n But there I was, broken over you.<\/p>\n Over soft hair and heartwarming brushes of your hand against mine.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n All your intricate origami reduced to ash<\/p>\n Polaroids don\u2019t exactly burn, I\u2019ve noticed.<\/p>\n Just sort of melting away with enough heat.<\/p>\n My mental images cannot disappear quite so easily<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Autumn Bartle The first time I saw you I silently took notes while you laughed loudly with your friends We were so different: the sun and a cloud. I liked school okay. But I\u2019d rather study you, Fold my notes up to replicate how your eyes crinkle when you laugh. That proud smile, every… <\/p>\n