I<\/p>\n
The alarm clock went off at five. The ensuing tempest of sound woke Wren from his slumber. He cleaned his glasses and placed them on his nose. The room was dark but Wren didn\u2019t want to wake his wife and his eyes were well suited to adapting. After a brief moment of aimless pondering he got up off his bed and began preparing for work. He put on a dress shirt, tie, and shined his own shoes before his normal breakfast of oatmeal and cinnamon. He then exited his apartment and subsequently the building before heading to the train station. Throughout the entire walk Wren felt as though he was being watched. No matter how hard he tried or how often he looked behind him he could not place why he had this feeling. He walked at a slightly increased pace than was normal. He quickly made it to the station and waited for the train to arrive. Some time passed.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe five thirty train is always on time,\u201d he thought as he looked at his watch. \u201cFive forty one that\u2019s unusual,\u201d he began to tap his heel up and down. \u201cMaybe something\u2019s happened?\u201d he proffered himself an explanation. Wren\u2019s nervousness immediately subsided when the train finally arrived and brought him to his place of work. He stood before the white skyscraper of Heiliger Robotics. The building loomed over him as if he was being scrutinized by it\u2019s blank visage. He walked through reception and rode the elevator to the twenty fifth floor. After which, he made his way across the floor to office number 10950. He sat at his desk with a mug of hot coffee and looked at his computer.<\/p>\n
\u201cSometimes I feel I have more in common with you than I do my wife,\u201d Wren announced articulately. The computer came to life and the connected monitor glowed a distinct dark green color.<\/p>\n
\u201cGood morning, Mr. Hastings, and welcome back to Heiliger Robotics.\u201d The words crept across the screen. At the top right of the screen read a title: Chief Accountant.<\/p>\n
\u201cGood morning, Aition, what are the assignments for today?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJust an exam, sir.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat sort of exam?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWorkers Happiness, is the title.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, let\u2019s get it over with.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, sir.\u201d The screen changed to the front page of a sort of standardized testing page. It simply read Test.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe title is just Test.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSorry, sir, but the file title is Worker\u2019s Happiness.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAlright start it up then.\u201d The screen switched to a different white page. It read, listen.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt seems I am required to read the questions to you, Mr. Hastings.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cProceed.\u201d The words appeared on the screen as Aition read them.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat is your favorite food?\u201d it asked. Wren was surprised by the sort of question that was being posed.<\/p>\n
\u201cUm… steak and mashed potatoes I suppose.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you like your job?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI could think of worse. It\u2019s boring but it pays the bills.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat are your true aspirations?\u201d<\/p>\n
Despite having never thought about what he truly wanted to do with his life, Wren immediately answered, \u201cI want to be a writer.\u201d He surprised himself with the speed of his answer.<\/p>\n
\u201cIs there anything you desire from Heiliger Robotics in regards to worker happiness?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cA day off.\u201d Before the next question could be read, Wren told Aition to pause the test. He then left his cubicle and went to the bathroom. While sipping from the water fountain, he wondered about the strangeness of this survey. Heiliger had never done anything like it before, so why start now?<\/p>\n
\u201cReady to begin again, Mr. Hastings?\u201d Aition asked as Wren sat back down.<\/p>\n
\u201cReady to continue, not begin again.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOf course.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cResume reading.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you happy at home?\u201d Wren was taken aback by the obvious invasion of privacy.<\/p>\n
\u201cLeave unanswered,\u201d he responded.<\/p>\n
\u201cAn answer is req-\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes,\u201d he interrupted.<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you planning on having children?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s none of your damn business!\u201d he struggled to avoid outright yelling.<\/p>\n
\u201cAll questions must be answered under threat of termination of work contract.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you often have anger issues?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you see any mental or physical therapists?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNO,\u201d he grew angrier with each question.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou are getting angry now Mr. Hastings.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s not a question, Aition.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you like being asked these questions?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cN-No I really don\u2019t.\u201d He searched for the bottle of whiskey he stashed in his desk.<\/p>\n
\u201cWould you call yourself an alcoholic?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNO,\u201d he took a large drink from the bottle.<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you love your wife, Mr. Hastings?\u201d Wren stared at the computer for a moment of hesitation. He stood up.<\/p>\n
\u201cNO!\u201d he grabbed the computer and smashed it against the floor.<\/p>\n
II<\/p>\n
The alarm clock went off at five. The ensuing tempest of sound woke Wren from his slumber. He cleaned his glasses and placed them on his nose. The room was dark so Wren turned the lights on. After a brief moment of aimless pondering he got up off his bed and began preparing for work. He put on a dress shirt, tie, and shined his own shoes before his normal breakfast of oatmeal and cinnamon. He then exited his apartment and subsequently the building before heading to the train station. Throughout the entire walk, Wren felt as though he was being watched. No matter how hard he tried or how often he looked behind him, he could not place why he had this feeling. He walked at a slightly increased pace than was normal. He quickly made it to the station and waited for the train to arrive. Wren made his way to office number 10951.<\/p>\n
\u201cSometimes I feel I have more in common with you than I do my wife,\u201d Wren announced articulately. The computer came to life and the connected monitor glowed a distinct dark green color.<\/p>\n
\u201cGood morning, Mr. Hastings, and welcome back to Heiliger Robotics,\u201d the words crept across the screen. At the top right of the screen read a title. Chief Accountant. Wren suddenly had an unshakeable feeling of deja vu. He quickly moved past it and attributed it to the repetitive nature of his work.<\/p>\n
\u201cAssignments for today, Aition?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJust a workers happiness test, Mr. Hastings.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBegin.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWould you consider yourself happy at Heiliger Robotics?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt could be worse I suppose.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAm I to understand that the answer is neutral?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWould you consider yourself happy in your life in general?\u201d Wren slumped back in his chair and had a long moment of ponderous hesitation.<\/p>\n
\u201cPause the test, Aition,\u201d he got up and went to the bathroom where he washed his face and collected his thoughts. This has happened before. As he looked at his face in the mirror he noticed his face split in half like a cracked mirror. He recoiled in fear before feeling the front of the mirror. Not broken. He felt his face. Not broken. \u201cWhat in God’s name is happening!?\u201d Wren screamed in frustration as he grabbed the mirror off the wall and smashed it onto the floor. He stood completely still breathing for a moment as he calmed himself. He then returned to his cubicle. \u201cAition, I would like to officially call in sick today.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m afraid that will not be possible Mr. Hastings. You have a responsibility to complete this survey.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cTo hell with the survey, Aition. I\u2019m going home.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMr. Hastings.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat do you want, Aition?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou can not leave.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWatch me.\u201d Wren took his bottle of whiskey from under the desk and through it at Aition. The bottle broke over the case of the computer. Brown liquid seeped into every crevice as sparks flew everywhere. Wren took a sigh of relief as he had a moment of isolation from the jabbering voice of Aition. After a moment, he heard the sound of a computer booting up in the cubicle next to his.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou can do that millions of times, Mr. Hastings, and you still won\u2019t be rid of me.\u201d Wren walked to the other cubicle. It was empty as if no one had ever inhabited the space. The only thing present was a computer and the connected monitor. He looked around above the walls of the cubicles. He saw no one, and he heard no one. \u201cWould you consider yourself happy in your life in general?\u201d Aiton said. Wren sat on the floor and leaned his back against the wall of the cubicle.<\/p>\n
\u201cAt the moment, no.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIf you answered no to the previous question, would you say why.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCause I\u2019m trapped in this damn office.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat are your true aspirations?\u201d Wren thought for a moment.<\/p>\n
\u201cI would like to be free to leave.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cVery well, you may.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI thought you said I couldn\u2019t leave.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAllow me to reiterate. You may try.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re surprisingly cruel for a computer.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m not cruel.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, you are.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s just that my neutrality comes across as cruel in your particular situation.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cFair point, I suppose.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSo, who is actually keeping me here then, since your just neutral.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m the one who asks the questions, Mr. Hastings.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThen ask some damn questions.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIf someone was in the same situation you are in now, and you had the power to stop it, would you?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOf course.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause it would be cruel not to.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou are concerned about the harm of others?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, it\u2019s called empathy, Aition\u2026 not that you would know anything about that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy can\u2019t I feel empathy?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause you\u2019re a computer.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cComputers can\u2019t feel empathy?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cComputers can\u2019t feel anything.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut you feel anger.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m not a computer.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI see.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHow does it feel?\u201d Aition\u2019s voice was completely monotone, yet Wren could oddly sense despair.<\/p>\n
\u201cHow does what feel?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBeing human.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, sometimes it feels quite dreadful to be honest, but other times it\u2019s quite nice.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t understand.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, one day you might be happy like if you got a big promotion or just got married to someone you actually love. Other days you might feel sad because you realise that someone you thought loved you actually doesn\u2019t ,or if you start to hate your job and how repetitive it is.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI think I understand. You might say it\u2019s a mixed bag.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, exactly, a mixed bag.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWould you say that your life is a mixed bag?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI suppose, although at the moment I\u2019m at one of the low spots.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy is that?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell my wife hates me, I hate this job, and I don\u2019t really have anybody to talk to about it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou can always talk to me, Mr. Hastings.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat\u2019s the point of talking to a computer if you know it\u2019s just programmed to dispassionately listen and nothing else. It can\u2019t empathise.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, Mr. Hastings, if there wasn\u2019t a point to it then why are you doing it now?\u201d<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
III<\/p>\n
The alarm clock went off at five. The ensuing tempest of sound woke Wren from his slumber. He cleaned his glasses and placed them on his nose. The room was dark so Wren turned the lights on. After a brief moment of aimless pondering, he got up off his bed and began preparing for work. He put on a dress shirt, tie, and shined his own shoes before his normal breakfast of oatmeal and cinnamon. He then exited his apartment and subsequently the building before heading to the train station. Throughout the entire walk, Wren felt as though he was being watched. No matter how hard he tried or how often he looked behind him he could not place why he had this feeling. He walked at a slightly increased pace than was normal. He quickly made it to the station and waited for the train to arrive. Wren made his way to office number 10952.<\/p>\n
\u201cSometimes I feel I have more in common with you than I do my wife,\u201d Wren announced articulately. The computer came to life and the connected monitor glowed a distinct dark green color.<\/p>\n
\u201cGood morning, Mr. Hastings, and welcome back to Heiliger Robotics,\u201d the words crept across the screen. At the top right of the screen read a title. Chief Accountant. Wren suddenly had an unshakeable feeling of deja vu.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ve been here before, Aititon.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat do you mean, sir? You work here.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI feel like I\u2019m doing the same thing everyday.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, your work is very monotonous.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, you don\u2019t understand. I\u2019ve been doing the same thing every day.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m still not following, sir.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLet me guess, today is the workers happiness survey.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s right, sir.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt has been for as long as I can remember.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI see,\u201d Aition paused for a moment. \u201c5-41-10952\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat is that?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201c5-41-10952\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAition, what are you doing?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201c5-41-10952\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAITION.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPlease sit down, sir.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPlease sit in your office chair.\u201d Wren sat as his vision cracked like a mirror again.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat\u2019s happening, Aititon?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re finished, sir,\u201d Aition\u2019s voice came over an intercom, which Wren didn\u2019t have any knowledge of. \u201cPlease use the elevator and go to the top floor, Mr. Hastings.\u201d Wren got up<\/p>\n
from the chair and walked towards the elevator. As he approached, he suddenly realized that the office was actually some sort of underground hanger. It was completely empty. He called the elevator and waited a moment as it came down. He entered. \u201cTop floor, Mr. Hastings.\u201d He pushed the button for the forty first floor. He steadily rose from the basement and eventually stopped. The doors opened.<\/p>\n
\u201cSo nice to finally meet you, Mr. Hastings.\u201d A tall lanky man dressed in a lab coat stood before Wren with his hand out. \u201cI\u2019m Robert Heiliger.\u201d They shook hands.<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t understand what\u2019s going on.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI can see that,\u201d Robert pointed at the chair. \u201cPlease have a seat.\u201d Wren sat. Robert quickly brought up a second chair and sat across from him. \u201cHold on a moment I have to do something official.\u201d He took a microphone that was attached to a tape machine. He pressed the record button. \u201cThis is Dr. Heiliger, chief programmer of the Aition Intelligence, reporting a successful Turing Test on iteration 5 model 41 and test number 10952.\u201d He set the recorder down. \u201cI would like to personally thank Mr. Hastings for taking part in this historic achievement and now I ask, Mr. Hastings. Do you have any questions?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d \u201cSplendid, you may leave now.\u201d Wren walked to the elevator.<\/p>\n
Before entering he asked. \u201cSo, am I the computer or is it just Aition?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIf you have to ask, does it really matter?\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Nick Phelps I The alarm clock went off at five. The ensuing tempest of sound woke Wren from his slumber. He cleaned his glasses and placed them on his nose. The room was dark but Wren didn\u2019t want to wake his wife and his eyes were well suited to adapting. After a brief moment of… <\/p>\n