{"id":445,"date":"2021-12-01T17:50:50","date_gmt":"2021-12-01T17:50:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/english.illinoisstate.edu\/euphemism\/17-1\/?page_id=445"},"modified":"2021-12-03T01:09:46","modified_gmt":"2021-12-03T01:09:46","slug":"yer-out","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/17-1\/yer-out\/","title":{"rendered":"Yer Out!"},"content":{"rendered":"<h5>Vern Fein<\/h5>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">Once the best fun, we collected baseball cards, sacred for poor, working-class boys before we could afford to go to a real game, before TV. Collected all the cards, a big deal and cheap. We could stuff boxes full: all the stars, along with the bench jockeys, shuffle fantasies before our eyes, each face our own miracle catch or towering home run.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">In the winter, when snow and ice pinned us inside, we made a game with them. Placed the cards on the floor, each player in his right position, even a catcher. We had our own All-Star team, changed<\/span><span data-contrast=\"none\">\u00a0line-ups\u00a0at\u00a0whim.\u00a0<\/span><span data-contrast=\"none\">We were the managers! Teams took turns. With our index finger, we flicked the batter card across the wooden bedroom floor, a dirt field in our minds.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">Where it landed determined the play. Hit another card\u2014out! Land clean, a hit, depends how far it flew. A home run was atop the heating vent. Rooted for our favorite team: Pirates, Reds, Cubbies! Charted the league standings. Nine innings, whiling away winter. Played for hours until our cuticles bled from snapping floating heroes into the air. Heal in a few days\u2014Batter up!<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">We had no idea of value\u2014Cokes were a nickel. We did not know American\u00a0greed<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">would soon make some cards\u2014<\/span><span data-contrast=\"none\">Williams, DiMaggio, Mantle\u2014<\/span><span data-contrast=\"none\">if we did not bend or crinkle them, worth enough to pay for college fees.\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">Comic books, then girls, took over. The cards sat in a box in the attic buried\u00a0in an Easter basket with fake green grass. It looked more like a field than the old, brown floor. But\u00a0a<\/span><span data-contrast=\"none\">\u00a0<\/span><span data-contrast=\"none\">\u202fsmall, attic fire incinerated them. Childhood dreams went up in smoke.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">Years later, our own children collected cards:\u00a0\u201cMom, Dad, buy sets and keep\u00a0them;<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">they\u2019ll\u202fbe worth a ton!\u201d\u00a0As good parents we stored them safely, not in an attic, but cellophane-intact, like rare books with perfect spines.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">Years later, a surfeit of cards\u2014America knew her business. Everyone collected and saved everything. The market crashed. Like a player who slid past second base\u2014Yer\u00a0Out!<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Vern Fein &nbsp; Once the best fun, we collected baseball cards, sacred for poor, working-class boys before we could afford to go to a real game, before TV. Collected all the cards, a big deal and cheap. We could stuff boxes full: all the stars, along with the bench jockeys, shuffle fantasies before our eyes,&hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"toivo-read-more\"><a href=\"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/17-1\/yer-out\/\" class=\"more-link\">Read more <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Yer Out!<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":40,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-445","page","type-page","status-publish","entry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/17-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/445","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/17-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/17-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/17-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/40"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/17-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=445"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/17-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/445\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":638,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/17-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/445\/revisions\/638"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/17-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=445"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}