{"id":529,"date":"2021-12-03T07:06:29","date_gmt":"2021-12-03T07:06:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/english.illinoisstate.edu\/euphemism\/17-1\/?page_id=529"},"modified":"2021-12-03T07:06:29","modified_gmt":"2021-12-03T07:06:29","slug":"you-have-won-a-new-car","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/17-1\/you-have-won-a-new-car\/","title":{"rendered":"You Have Won a New Car"},"content":{"rendered":"<h5>Lee Stockdale<span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/h5>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">I was summoned under pretense I\u2019d won a new car\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">from\u00a0<\/span><i><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Publisher\u2019s Clearinghouse<\/span><\/i><span data-contrast=\"auto\">,<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">required to show up in person to claim it,<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">a ploy I knew was used by authorities\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">to catch criminals.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">I had nothing to fear, I wasn\u2019t a criminal,\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">and there weren\u2019t any warrants out for my arrest.\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">I walked into the stadium expecting to see\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">many similar winners<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">and shiny new cars revolving\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">on pedestals as when GM or Ford\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">unveils new models with\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">confetti and music and special lighting,<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">so was stunned to see in the stands<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">all my teachers: from pre-school, elementary, middle school, high school,<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">community college, the university. Mr.\u00a0Rauchle,<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">who I thought had been dead for years,\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">was healthy and smiled his tight-lipped smile,<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">side swoops of his hair still combed down center forehead<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">into that point he\u2019d stab me with<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">in tenth grade history. On behalf\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">of my hundreds of professors\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">and teachers, he presented me their\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">collective\u00a0<\/span><i><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Certificate of Disappointment<\/span><\/i><span data-contrast=\"auto\">.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Lee Stockdale\u00a0 I was summoned under pretense I\u2019d won a new car\u00a0\u00a0 from\u00a0Publisher\u2019s Clearinghouse,\u00a0 required to show up in person to claim it,\u00a0 a ploy I knew was used by authorities\u00a0\u00a0 to catch criminals.\u00a0 I had nothing to fear, I wasn\u2019t a criminal,\u00a0\u00a0 and there weren\u2019t any warrants out for my arrest.\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 I walked&hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"toivo-read-more\"><a href=\"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/17-1\/you-have-won-a-new-car\/\" class=\"more-link\">Read more <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">You Have Won a New Car<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":40,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-529","page","type-page","status-publish","entry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/17-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/529","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/17-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/17-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/17-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/40"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/17-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=529"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/17-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/529\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":531,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/17-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/529\/revisions\/531"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/17-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=529"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}