I\u00a0stay in bed a lot more these days\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n it\u2019s like my brain is in a constant haze<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n I\u00a0lie wondering if things do get better\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n because when my sister is sad,\u00a0that\u2019s what\u00a0I\u00a0tell her<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n I\u00a0get in my head by the end of the night\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n though\u00a0I\u00a0can fall asleep in any light\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n nothing\u00a0I\u00a0do feels productive or right\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n and all my words are rearranged the same<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n I\u00a0wish\u00a0I\u00a0could cheat on this life like a game<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n spending money makes me happy\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n sent into panic the next day\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n who ever thought life was fulfilling this way?<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n My brain is broken in all the ways of the word<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n my slender shoulders feel the weight of the\u00a0world\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n my writing or lack\u00a0thereof won\u2019t change a single thing<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n yet my blue heart feels the eyes that sting<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n there is so much to worry about this time<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n money, love, pain, and\u00a0truth<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n oh no that hurt doesn\u2019t seem to rhyme\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n I\u00a0am busy but feel no purpose at all<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n my mask of a smile begins to fall\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n yet chaos is peaceful,\u00a0it means distraction to me<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n because alone time with only my own thoughts is much\u00a0too\u00a0scary\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n but\u00a0I\u00a0find myself crawling back into bed\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n in my warm covers and my favorite sweatshirt instead<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n of doing all the things\u00a0I\u00a0really wish to do<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n to dream about my future or dream about you.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Emma Julian I\u00a0stay in bed a lot more these days\u00a0\u00a0 it\u2019s like my brain is in a constant haze\u00a0 I\u00a0lie wondering if things do get better\u00a0\u00a0 because when my sister is sad,\u00a0that\u2019s what\u00a0I\u00a0tell her\u00a0 I\u00a0get in my head by the end of the night\u00a0\u00a0 though\u00a0I\u00a0can fall asleep in any light\u00a0\u00a0 nothing\u00a0I\u00a0do feels productive or right\u00a0\u00a0… <\/p>\n