Holly Day

I have spent too many nights

pantomiming nightmares—

I will not sleep

with her sweat on our sheets.

 

We will not get through this.

I am afraid to come home, afraid

that there is nothing left to tie us together.

I have spent too many nights listening to your breathing

with her sweat on our sheets.

You have me.

 

There will be no songs between us.

I have been drinking too many suicide songs

in your name, dreaming of walking in on you, on her–

we never existed.

I have spent too many nights

thinking of you to know

 

we will not get through this.

Together, but only

in my memory.