<\/p>\n
\u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003i wanted to start a garden but i<\/p>\n
\u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003wasn’t sure how. i got a raised-<\/p>\n
\u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003bed\u00a0 plot and\u00a0 and\u00a0 i\u00a0 \u00a0got\u00a0 my<\/p>\n
\u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003landlord’s\u00a0 \u00a0 approval\u00a0 \u00a0 and\u00a0 \u00a0 i<\/p>\n
\u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003scanned\u00a0\u00a0 old\u00a0\u00a0 online\u00a0 tutorials<\/p>\n
\u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003and i\u00a0 \u00a0told\u00a0myself\u00a0 \u00a0“i need to<\/p>\n
\u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003start a garden” and i repeated it<\/p>\n
\u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003beneath my\u00a0 breath\u00a0 and i let it<\/p>\n
\u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003spin around my head and i even<\/p>\n
\u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003wrote down the phrase as some<\/p>\n
\u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003attempt at putting page to pen.<\/p>\n
\u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003i\u00a0 listened\u00a0 to\u00a0\u00a0that\u00a0 \u00a0album\u00a0 \u00a0by<\/p>\n
\u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003Haley Heynderickx of the same<\/p>\n
\u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003name,\u00a0 i let\u00a0 the\u00a0 repeat\u00a0 be\u00a0 a<\/p>\n
\u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003symbol for taking care of\u00a0 me<\/em><\/p>\n \u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003for managing my attention for<\/p>\n \u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003salvaging from this depression<\/p>\n \u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003what i lost, lost over these years<\/p>\n \u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003and years and years and years<\/p>\n \u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003and \u00a0\u00a0 then– never \u00a0\u00a0 near– i did<\/p>\n \u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003no\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 growing\u00a0 \u00a0no \u00a0\u00a0 feeding\u00a0 no<\/p>\n \u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003planting no sowing no seeding<\/p>\n \u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003merely thinking, merely seeing<\/p>\n \u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003ideas\u00a0\u00a0 fly\u00a0\u00a0 around \u00a0\u00a0 my\u00a0\u00a0 mind,<\/p>\n \u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003desire seeping — bleeding — but<\/p>\n \u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003somehow always incompletely.<\/p>\n \u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003i didn’t build the plot it just sat<\/p>\n \u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003in\u00a0 the rain by a hummingbird<\/p>\n \u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003feeder never hung and free soil<\/p>\n \u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003never \u00a0\u00a0 flung\u00a0 across\u00a0 the\u00a0\u00a0 lawn<\/p>\n \u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003floor to store\u00a0 and to\u00a0 tend\u00a0 and<\/p>\n \u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003grow\u00a0 and rend, no wait for life<\/p>\n \u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003to\u00a0 \u00a0seize\u00a0 its\u00a0 day\u00a0 just\u00a0 a\u00a0 \u00a0gift<\/p>\n \u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003certificate for a local plant shop<\/p>\n \u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003lost, my\u00a0 body\u00a0 locked across\u00a0 a<\/p>\n \u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003couch in a cluttered room, no<\/p>\n \u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003fervent push to move but still i<\/p>\n \u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003race with doubt that i’ll ever do<\/p>\n \u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003the things i always say i want to<\/p>\n \u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003do.<\/p>\n \n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Jarod Sage \u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003i wanted to start a garden but i \u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003wasn’t sure how. i got a raised- \u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003bed\u00a0 plot and\u00a0 and\u00a0 i\u00a0 \u00a0got\u00a0 my \u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003landlord’s\u00a0 \u00a0 approval\u00a0 \u00a0 and\u00a0 \u00a0 i \u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003scanned\u00a0\u00a0 old\u00a0\u00a0 online\u00a0 tutorials \u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003and i\u00a0 \u00a0told\u00a0myself\u00a0 \u00a0“i need to \u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003start a garden” and i repeated it \u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003\u2003beneath my\u00a0 breath\u00a0 and i let […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":40,"featured_media":0,"parent":17,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-706","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry","clear"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/17-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/706","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/17-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/17-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/17-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/40"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/17-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=706"}],"version-history":[{"count":43,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/17-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/706\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":710,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/17-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/706\/revisions\/710"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/17-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/17"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/17-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=706"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}