{"id":111,"date":"2022-11-09T19:36:05","date_gmt":"2022-11-09T19:36:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/english.illinoisstate.edu\/euphemism\/18-1\/?page_id=111"},"modified":"2022-11-09T19:36:05","modified_gmt":"2022-11-09T19:36:05","slug":"i-need-you-to-understand","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/18-1\/poetry\/i-need-you-to-understand\/","title":{"rendered":"I Need You to Understand"},"content":{"rendered":"
Emmalynne Shumard<\/h5>\n

 <\/p>\n

I need you to understand<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t exist<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I haven\u2019t<\/p>\n

for a long time<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I think it was the first glare that did it<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The murmur<\/p>\n

of my teacher\u2019s distrust<\/p>\n

The doubt<\/p>\n

in my mother\u2019s eye<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Since that time,<\/p>\n

I have packed away<\/p>\n

every thought of me<\/p>\n

That did not belong to<\/p>\n

Them<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I saw acceptance<\/p>\n

could not be found<\/p>\n

without a knife<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I have been<\/p>\n

sliced away<\/p>\n

cut cookie at my edges<\/p>\n

sweet with icing<\/p>\n

over uneven lines<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I need you to understand this<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I need you to see<\/p>\n

the blood<\/p>\n

on the seams of my hands<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I don\u2019t need you to love me for it<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I just need you to see<\/p>\n

there used to be someone here<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I can\u2019t find her anymore<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

But I need you to look at me<\/p>\n

Hear me<\/p>\n

I\u2019m begging you<\/p>\n

I\u2019m telling you<\/p>\n

I\u2019m screaming<\/p>\n

my old name<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I need you to understand I existed<\/p>\n

I need you to know I don\u2019t anymore<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Emmalynne Shumard   I need you to understand I don\u2019t exist   I haven\u2019t for a long time   I think it was the first glare that did it   The murmur of my teacher\u2019s distrust The doubt in my mother\u2019s eye   Since that time, I have packed away every thought of me That did not belong to Them   I saw acceptance could not be found without a knife   I have been sliced away cut cookie at my edges sweet with icing over uneven lines   I need you to understand this   I need you to…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":42,"featured_media":0,"parent":32,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-111","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/18-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/111","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/18-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/18-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/18-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/42"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/18-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=111"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/18-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/111\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":112,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/18-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/111\/revisions\/112"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/18-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/32"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/18-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=111"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}