<\/p>\n
She\u2019s\u202fhappy to\u202fhave found\u202fa parking spot so close to the mall entrance.\u202fBody braced against the stinging wind, head down, she hurries to the door. In the reflection\u202fof the glass\u202fshe sees her image wrapped in a vapor of breath, monochrome against the late winter snow piled high in the parking lot behind her. She tugs the heavy door\u202fopen and enters the vast retail cavern known as\u202fRiver\u202fTrail Center.\u202f<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n It\u2019s dark\u202finside, darker than she remembers\u2014it\u2019s been fifteen years. Her footsteps tap out\u202fa\u202fhollow staccato as she hurries past long\u202frows of closed storefronts, barely noticing them at first. Empty windows decorated with larger-than-life photo scenes of fashion, food, and families having fun, a colorful mask to disguise the vacant spaces that lie behind.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n \u200b\u200b\u200b\u200b\u200b\u200b<\/span>###<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n She recalls her destination was next to The Limited. She\u2019s not sure where that is anymore. The concierge desk is empty. An\u202foverhead\u202fsign\u202freads\u202f\u201cINFORMATION,\u201d\u202fand a smaller\u202fsign\u202fon the desk,\u202f\u201cBack In\u202fFive Minutes.\u202fSorry For Any Inconvenience.\u201d\u202fShe looks around, stops the only person in sight. \u201cCan you tell me where\u202fI can find\u202fThe Limited?\u201d<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cThe Limited? I\u2019m sorry, that\u2019s been closed quite a while now.\u202fBelieve they\u2019re out of business everywhere.\u201d\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s really not where I need go. I\u2019m looking for the place that sells discount beauty products.\u202fA friend said it\u2019s still here. They\u2019re having a big\u202fstore\u202fclosing sale. Beauty something or other. I don\u2019t recall the exact name. It\u2019s been a long time. I just know it was next to The Limited. I\u2019m sorry, I should have made myself clearer\u2014\u201d<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n \u201c\u2014It was over by\u202fBergner\u2019s.\u202fI think it\u2019s down the Macy\u2019s\u202fcorridor\u202fnow.\u201d\u202fThe person points.\u202f\u201cTurn left at the food court.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n There\u2019s a notice on the fountain in front of the food court,\u202f\u201cTEMPORARILY CLOSED FOR MAINTENANCE.\u201d\u202fThe bottom\u202fof the pond\u202fis\u202fdry and\u202fgrimy, piled with drink cups, straws, and other rubbish, mold\u202fclimbing\u202fup the sides towards the rim. The low bench that circled the fountain, the place where they would all meet as teenagers,\u202fis still there.\u202fThere was always someone hanging out\u202fon that bench,\u202flike\u202fa placeholder\u202ffor the rest of her group.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n \u200b\u200b\u200b\u200b\u200b\u200b<\/span>###<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n \u202f \u202f\u202f<\/span><\/i> When she first knew it, it was The Trail:\u202f\u201cGoin\u2019\u202fto The Trail this aft?\u201d \u201cMeet you tomorrow\u202fat\u202fThe Trail, okay?\u201d \u201cSaw you with a cute guy\u202fat\u202fThe Trail Saturday.\u201d\u202fThere was no requirement for belonging to the group, just\u202fthe usual teen\u202fboredom, parent issues, school issues, degrees of rebellion both real and feigned, and enough change in your purse or pocket for an Orange Julius\u202for\u202fa\u202fWetzel’s\u202fpretzel if the mall cops ordered you to buy something or\u202felse\u202fleave.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Her mother worried about the kids she hung with.\u202f\u201cThat gang at the mall. Saw them when I was at Penney\u2019s yesterday. They looked rough. The boys with that long hair. The girls so\u202fslutty, butts sticking out of their shorts. And the language! Do you know them? I hope you don\u2019t\u202fgo around with any of them.\u201d\u202fShe lied to her mother. She lied about Marcie. She lied about\u202fBritney. And she lied about\u202fTroy.\u202fEspecially Troy. A couple of years older than the rest and on his own. First kisses. First love. First everything.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n A lone security guard passes in the other direction without looking up.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n \u200b\u200b\u200b\u200b\u200b\u200b<\/span>###<\/span>\u200b\u200b\u200b\u200b\u200b\u200b<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n The corridor leading to\u202fBergner\u2019s\u202fis closed. As is\u202fBergner’s. Forever. She moves along. Someone from a kiosk\u202fhands her a sample of skin rejuvenating cream.\u202f\u201cNo, thank you.\u201d\u202fSomeone else steps from a doorway with a sample tray of homemade soaps. Again,\u202f\u201cNo, thanks.\u201d\u202f<\/span>\u200b\u200b<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n She passes the west entrance where Troy used to park his car. They\u2019d drive off somewhere, always returning before her mother came to pick her up. She walks over to the\u202fdoor and looks out.<\/span>\u202f<\/span><\/i>Fifteen years. Almost as if it were yesterday. Too much like yesterday.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n \u200b\u200b\u200b\u200b\u200b\u200b<\/span>###<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Mom had dropped me off early. I was sitting on the bench by the fountain, waiting for some of the other kids from school. He just came up and sat down beside me like we already knew each other. He was good looking. Very good looking. Tall. Muscular. It was warm out, and he was wearing a sleeveless t-shirt that showed off his chest and biceps. I could tell he was older,\u202fbut was afraid to ask. He finally got around to telling me he\u2019d gone to my high school, said he remembered me. I wasn\u2019t sure I remembered him. We talked about nothing important for a few<\/span> more minutes, then he asked me if I\u2019d like to get something to eat. He held out his hand as I stood up and then didn\u2019t let go as we walked into the food court. I didn\u2019t object. He bought a couple of Cokes and we shared a large order of french fries. On the way back to the fountain, he put his arm around my waist. I didn’t object to that, either.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n \u200b\u200b\u200b\u200b\u200b\u200b<\/span>###<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n The next weekend, he asked me if I\u2019d like to see his new car. I remember I didn\u2019t answer him right away.\u202f\u201cYou don\u2019t have to walk far. It\u2019s parked close by.\u201d\u202fThat wasn\u2019t why I hesitated. I was warned never leave the mall with anyone, or I\u2019d be grounded for a month. I didn\u2019t want to tell him that.\u202f<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n As we drove around town, I was hoping maybe my friends would see me, at the same time fearing that my mom might, too. Troy headed past downtown to the edge of the lake, and we pulled up in the parking lot. He made a joke about watching the submarine races. I was sitting right next to him. Despite the temperature and our body heat, I remember how I began to shiver.\u202f<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n \u200b\u200b\u200b\u200b\u200b\u200b<\/span>###<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n We saw each other all that fall, and then it was Christmas Eve. The mall was closing early. I didn\u2019t have any money for a real gift, but I had a pretty medal my dad gave me before he died. It was still in the box. I wrapped it and handed it to Troy as I got out of the car. I wouldn\u2019t see him again until after the holidays. When I finally did see him, I had to tell him.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cAre you sure?\u201d<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m not sure, but I\u2019m late. By three weeks.\u201d \u202f \u202f\u202f<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n \u202f<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Saying nothing, he put the car in gear and motioned for me to get out. The next day, I got to the mall later than usual. Marcie was there.\u202f\u201cTroy said he had to go out of town and couldn\u2019t wait any longer. He gave me this.\u201d\u202fI took the medal in my hand, squeezing it hard until it pricked my skin. Until it hurt and my fingers began to bleed.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n \u200b\u200b\u200b\u200b\u200b\u200b<\/span>###<\/span>\u200b\u200b<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n She hasn\u2019t kept up with her friends from the mall. By the time she graduated, they\u2019d already gone their own way. Moved on for good. Marcie\u202fwith her father to\u202fSt. Louis. Britney\u202fto live with her mother\u202fand sister\u202fsomewhere in Indiana.\u202fTroy\u202fnever came back, never knew his own son.<\/span>\u200b\u200b<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n She finds the store she was looking for, one of a handful left on the corridor. There\u2019s a big yellow banner in the window,\u202f\u201cCLOSING FOREVER! EVERYTHING MUST GO!\u201d\u202fShe pauses to look around at what is now\u202fand recalls what used to be, seeing only paint smudges above darkened doorways where signs once read\u202f\u201cCrocs,\u201d \u201cVictoria\u2019s Secret,\u201d \u201cPayless Shoes.\u201d\u202f<\/span>It took me fifteen years to come back here.<\/span><\/i>\u202f<\/span>Fifteen years<\/span><\/i>.\u202f<\/span>Yeah, it\u2019s time. Time for my own closure. You messed up my life, and you\u2019ve messed with my mind\u202fway too long.\u202fLike the sign says, everything must go, and that includes you, Troy Thompson. Like this dead mall, you are\u202ffinally\u202fdead to me. Now\u202fand forever.<\/span><\/i>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n \u200b\u200b\u200b\u200b\u200b\u200b<\/span>\u202f<\/span><\/i>###<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" John Timm She\u2019s\u202fhappy to\u202fhave found\u202fa parking spot so close to the mall entrance.\u202fBody braced against the stinging wind, head down, she hurries to the door. In the reflection\u202fof the glass\u202fshe sees her image wrapped in a vapor of breath, monochrome against the late winter snow piled high in the parking lot behind her. She tugs the heavy door\u202fopen and enters the vast retail cavern known as\u202fRiver\u202fTrail Center.\u202f\u00a0 It\u2019s dark\u202finside, darker than she remembers\u2014it\u2019s been fifteen years. Her footsteps tap out\u202fa\u202fhollow staccato as she hurries past long\u202frows of closed storefronts, barely noticing them at first. Empty windows decorated with larger-than-life…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":52,"featured_media":0,"parent":96,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-438","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/18-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/438","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/18-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/18-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/18-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/52"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/18-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=438"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/18-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/438\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1146,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/18-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/438\/revisions\/1146"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/18-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/96"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/18-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=438"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}