Kate Fortner
You are doing this for love, child? Love is destruction. I will tell you a story to illustrate my point.
Once, there was a young woman who was fair as can be, but her circumstances were lowly and meager. Despite this, or perhaps because of it, she was sought by many men who longed to claim her for their own.
But she turned them all away for her eye was fixed solely on one man, a prince as it so happened. She dreamed of no one but him, and he, of course, barely knew she existed. He had far too many important tasks and beautiful suitors to be concerned with the miller’s daughter, pretty though she might be.
One day, a young man, a carpenter in training who was fixed to inherit his father’s shop, came forward to speak to the young woman. He said, “I am in need of a wife, and you are in need of a husband. Marry me, and I shall ensure you are provided for. I will treat you kindly and fairly, and allow you as much or as little freedom from me as you desire.”
The young woman was shocked. “But sir! Are you not aware that I love another?”
“I care not,” he answered. “For he shall not marry you, and I will. He shall not provide for you, but I will. My parents have been wed for near thirty years, and their marriage has been harmonious as can be. Once, I asked the secret to their success, and they answered:”
Love is not as important as respect. Passion cannot replace a level head and simple conversation. Find someone who needs what you need and works hard, and love may grow in time or it may not, but the respect will remain as long as both are willing to commit to living the best life possible. Your father needed a wife, and I needed a husband. He worked hard as a carpenter, and I as a tailor’s apprentice. We agreed to support each other and to work through issues with a clear head and an open heart.
When it came to the issue of children, we gave the matter some practical thought. Could we afford one? Did we desire one? Was your mother willing to commit to carrying one? I did not feel entitled to one simply for marrying her, and when we had you, we did so because we both agreed we really wanted you, not because we felt we had to.
“You have worked hard as the miller’s daughter, but you cannot do so forever. Your father has many children to take over the mill after his passing. Marry me and I will ensure you a place at my father’s job, a place to live, and food on the table.”
The young woman wrinkled her nose. “Thank you kindly, sir, but I shall wait on my prince.”
And wait she did. The years passed, and still the prince took no notice of her. Eventually he married another woman, a duchess from a neighboring kingdom, and when the miller died, his daughter had no place to work or live, and she eventually passed away, alone and penniless.
That is what comes of love, child. Passion in your heart cannot make up for practicality in your head.