November

James Friedman

When I returned home

And had time to myself

I hung my dreams back up on the wall

And they looked down

And the mirror does not even have the time of day for me

And when I see the smiles of others

all I feel is the absence of my own

The nights pass without stir

And for some reason I lie awake

Wondering what at all I am in this world

I was full of hope as a boy

Even when the world didn’t make sense

It did to me

And when God spoke, I knew that pillars would collapse

But I’m not so sure that God speaks anymore

And when I listen to the sounds outside the win-dow

All I hear are storms distant and close

From a world on fire

I’ve been alone with myself for quite a sum of time

Sands that pass without hesitation

And each day feels more a like a gesture

Than progress

For a time I lost hope of progress

For the sole desire to preserve what was left of myself in the wake of my dreams

And all I thought the world to be

People are not good to each other

I’ve not been good to me

But one night I heard singing

Thanksgiving days away, I sat in my bedroom accompanied by candlelight and a cat at my feet

I missed the lady who had ex-changed hearts with me

And the pressed flowers she gifted

And the hands that warmed my own

When it was so cold outside

I could forget the world if it meant staying by her side

Cooking and tending to her

sharing stories of what could be

when all along we were content in where we were

She was better than a dream when she was with me

And I knew on some day

In the warm sand

I’d walk with her by the water

And when the sun got low, we would not retire

I’d carry her close across the shore

And we’d lay against each other’s side

Watching the setting sun dip into the sea

To kiss the horizon line

I’d cup my palms around her face

And kiss her forehead just the same

 

I’ve watched her singing when she thought I still was

elsewhere

I’ve caught her smiling

When at first she thought she was alone

I’ve seen the moun-tain-tops above the clouds

Seen the gulleys and outlines of the streams

I’ve seen the rill that runs like a daughter to that

swirling sea, and how it sparkles with every star that will ever be

 

I’ve held her close with the lights off in the room

The window pane supplied the only light we’d need

We danced a while, hand in hand

and if that was all

that I could be

I’d know that there was still a life left for me

That even when my dreams fall through

I’ll still be standing when the sun ascends

Across November’s sky again