Grief

Tessa Renken

I cannot dwell on my womanhood too long.
I cannot dwell on my queerness too long.
I must dwell on my circumstances
But I fear destroying myself over the grief I find there.

I was built
And I feel corrupt for it.

It seems I will always feel corrupt, incorrect, or malformed.

I grieve for myself before I have died.
I grieve for those like me who have.
I grieve for those like me who will spend their lovely lives grieving.

I should not have to.
I should not have to.