{"id":292,"date":"2024-11-20T21:47:24","date_gmt":"2024-11-20T21:47:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/20-1\/?page_id=292"},"modified":"2024-11-30T03:28:29","modified_gmt":"2024-11-30T03:28:29","slug":"dating-a-rich-girl","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/20-1\/dating-a-rich-girl\/","title":{"rendered":"Dating A Rich Girl"},"content":{"rendered":"

by John Grey<\/span><\/p>\n

In my first visit to her home,<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m shown into the parlor<\/span><\/p>\n

by Emma\u2019s lookalike mother.<\/span><\/p>\n

What overwhelms my eyes<\/span><\/p>\n

is a large shiny black grand piano.<\/span><\/p>\n

Even more than the view of the lake,<\/span><\/p>\n

this is the star of<\/span><\/p>\n

the family\u2019s extravagant show.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I can imagine myself<\/span><\/p>\n

sitting on the stool,<\/span><\/p>\n

in a resplendent tuxedo,<\/span><\/p>\n

my tails spread behind me,<\/span><\/p>\n

performing everything<\/span><\/p>\n

from Rachmaninoff to Chopin<\/span><\/p>\n

for the amazed enjoyment of her family.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Except, I can\u2019t play piano.<\/span><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t know Rachmaninoff and Chopin<\/span><\/p>\n

from Bryan Adams and Megadeth.<\/span><\/p>\n

And I have this vision of Emma\u2019s entire family<\/span><\/p>\n

seated before that gleaming black grand,<\/span><\/p>\n

their amazing synchronized fingers<\/span><\/p>\n

caressing the ivories into some<\/span><\/p>\n

high-minded, rhapsodic concerto,<\/span><\/p>\n

designed to make me feel small<\/span><\/p>\n

and talentless, inconsequential and forever<\/span><\/p>\n

in the dominating shadow of my betters.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cLovely, isn\u2019t it,\u201d says Emma<\/span><\/p>\n

suddenly appearing in the doorway.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBut no one in the family<\/span><\/p>\n

has a musical bone in their body.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

The piano lauds its superiority over us<\/span><\/p>\n

and we\u2019re both all the better for that.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

by John Grey In my first visit to her home, I\u2019m shown into the parlor by Emma\u2019s lookalike mother. What overwhelms my eyes is a large shiny black grand piano. Even more than the view of the lake, this is the star of the family\u2019s extravagant show.   I can imagine myself sitting on the Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":81,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":39,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-292","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/20-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/292","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/20-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/20-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/20-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/81"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/20-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=292"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/20-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/292\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":293,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/20-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/292\/revisions\/293"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/20-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=292"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}