{"id":316,"date":"2024-11-20T22:05:20","date_gmt":"2024-11-20T22:05:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/20-1\/?page_id=316"},"modified":"2024-11-30T03:29:52","modified_gmt":"2024-11-30T03:29:52","slug":"pinpoint","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/20-1\/pinpoint\/","title":{"rendered":"Pinpoint"},"content":{"rendered":"

by Jack Scholtes<\/span><\/p>\n

How can I identify what I think, or what to think<\/span><\/p>\n

When I have a festering, blood-boiling, filthy itch?<\/span><\/p>\n

Like dragging a cheese grater across my brain,<\/span><\/p>\n

Like bugs tearing open my skin<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I can almost see that others don\u2019t have this itch,<\/span><\/p>\n

Which makes me feel disgusting, and humilated.<\/span><\/p>\n

Was I left in the sun too long? Was I thrown into acid?<\/span><\/p>\n

What made me the unlucky one, to feel an itch like this?<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I can\u2019t integrate anywhere, anyhow, when I have this itch<\/span><\/p>\n

Whatever anyone calls it, I know it too well, or at least the feeling<\/span><\/p>\n

I can\u2019t put my finger on it, but I know it\u2019s too broad for me now, to think about<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s comparable to being born alone, into a whole world that hasn\u2019t been explored<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I\u2019ve tried, and tried again, to attempt surgery on my brain<\/span><\/p>\n

Just to find a lingering, pain in the ass itch,<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve amputated, and stitched together, and drowned myself<\/span><\/p>\n

Just to itch the mass in my head, the rotten part of me<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sitting on that brown, fancy couch, and thinking<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhy is this lovely woman trying to help me?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

She doesn\u2019t need to hear my story, my pain<\/span><\/p>\n

Why does she want to hear me speak anyway?<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She can\u2019t amputate that itch out of me, although I really wish she could<\/span><\/p>\n

But the only one that can get rid of it is me, the man who wants to help<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

If I oppose it for long enough, surgery can wait a bit longer<\/span><\/p>\n

But eventually, unfortunately enough,<\/span><\/p>\n

I still have that fucking itch.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

by Jack Scholtes How can I identify what I think, or what to think When I have a festering, blood-boiling, filthy itch? Like dragging a cheese grater across my brain, Like bugs tearing open my skin   I can almost see that others don\u2019t have this itch, Which makes me feel disgusting, and humilated. Was Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":81,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":50,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-316","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/20-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/316","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/20-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/20-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/20-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/81"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/20-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=316"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/20-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/316\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":317,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/20-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/316\/revisions\/317"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/20-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=316"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}