{"id":325,"date":"2024-11-20T22:11:29","date_gmt":"2024-11-20T22:11:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/20-1\/?page_id=325"},"modified":"2024-11-30T03:29:20","modified_gmt":"2024-11-30T03:29:20","slug":"my-mortal-ending","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/20-1\/my-mortal-ending\/","title":{"rendered":"My Mortal Ending"},"content":{"rendered":"

by Megan Spreadbury<\/span><\/p>\n

I want my body to drown<\/span><\/p>\n

to back down<\/span><\/p>\n

and after its first mile<\/span><\/p>\n

sit for awhile<\/span><\/p>\n

under the ocean<\/span><\/p>\n

block out the commotion<\/span><\/p>\n

of nails gripping skin<\/span><\/p>\n

tearing at the fine print within<\/span><\/p>\n

stop wondering<\/span><\/p>\n

why breathing<\/span><\/p>\n

became so difficult<\/span><\/p>\n

or if my mind lost a bolt<\/span><\/p>\n

somewhere in between<\/span><\/p>\n

the solid sheen<\/span><\/p>\n

of sweat lingering cold<\/span><\/p>\n

and settled in my bones<\/span><\/p>\n

every time blood crept down the walls<\/span><\/p>\n

kept pace with my fall<\/span><\/p>\n

to the ocean floor<\/span><\/p>\n

boarded up, asking for more<\/span><\/p>\n

of my soul to give<\/span><\/p>\n

not an inch was left to live<\/span><\/p>\n

where it begged for breath<\/span><\/p>\n

holding on to death<\/span><\/p>\n

dancing around fire<\/span><\/p>\n

in foul specks of desire<\/span><\/p>\n

where if the ocean caused loss<\/span><\/p>\n

my mind was the moss<\/span><\/p>\n

over splintered wood<\/span><\/p>\n

where puncture wounds could<\/span><\/p>\n

wrap me up in salt<\/span><\/p>\n

my body grappled against the halt<\/span><\/p>\n

of tormenting decent<\/span><\/p>\n

wishing time would repent<\/span><\/p>\n

and spent mistakes wouldn\u2019t snake<\/span><\/p>\n

their way through the decay, take<\/span><\/p>\n

their fine words<\/span><\/p>\n

and waive them into the wards<\/span><\/p>\n

so carefully sealed<\/span><\/p>\n

but appealed to the blood dripping<\/span><\/p>\n

to the door, waiting<\/span><\/p>\n

as it creaked<\/span><\/p>\n

nostrils stung on the scent of concrete<\/span><\/p>\n

burdens so heavy<\/span><\/p>\n

time felt bad for me<\/span><\/p>\n

the last torture<\/span><\/p>\n

of meaningless closure<\/span><\/p>\n

were the satisfying thoughts<\/span><\/p>\n

lined up with the loss<\/span><\/p>\n

of fuel in my heart<\/span><\/p>\n

which wouldn\u2019t start<\/span><\/p>\n

and decay in my soul<\/span><\/p>\n

where only drowning let me go<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

by Megan Spreadbury I want my body to drown to back down and after its first mile sit for awhile under the ocean block out the commotion of nails gripping skin tearing at the fine print within stop wondering why breathing became so difficult or if my mind lost a bolt somewhere in between the Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":81,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":45,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-325","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/20-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/325","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/20-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/20-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/20-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/81"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/20-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=325"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/20-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/325\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":326,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/20-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/325\/revisions\/326"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/20-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=325"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}