By Dyson Smith
LOVER the rituals of the city are not working on me I walk around the city bleaching myself to an uneven sunburn I have tried it all the brisket that taste like charcoal live music with my feet in burnt grass the bronze capitol building or the art museum I even tried it to the cord of three times in a single day to no success the exhibits stayed the same and started to scorn my presence paintings spitting pastel’s down my back in passing I tried the weird museum its offsetting sacrilege weirdness offset me I tried Boudin from a street vendor cigarettes without the tobacco tax Echolocation using the crosswalk intercom to orient myself in the right direction right direction I tried Traditionalism the American Dream going to church and believing I was desired in a place that makes you better that I could be fixed like a house cat and believe in something that would recentralize my gaze a set piece I tried the right way sticking to a strict workout regimen counting calories stretching in the morning still going to church putting jewelry on skincare these means tastes modern efforts I tried the wrong way as well and don’t want to elucidate what my version of the wrong way entails I even tried submission giving myself up to a mechanical bull and letting him throw me around for a moment being obedient to a desolate technology to belong to some other animal amongst this robot war to no avail so I tried opposition to become an antonym I’m trying to say I tried domination I sought to own the city stomp around it and walk with a weight where people knew not to fuck with me flask hanging from my beltloop spitting flem then gum glob then chewing tobacco running topless screaming the same ballad by Whiskey Myers on repeat on repeat on repeat A COUPLE OF PRETTY FLOWERS IS WHAT I BROUGHT FOR YOU at the end of this run I will be six miles older I am approaching the trailhead of the Lady Bird Lake Loop LOVER it is now that I realized this life is not the same without you it is ritualistic LOVER I have been spoiled with your love and good company LOVER I want to go in a small canoe with you and help the worlds pretty LOVER you are sparkling you are a sparkle