{"id":350,"date":"2025-04-24T01:51:04","date_gmt":"2025-04-24T01:51:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/20-2\/?page_id=350"},"modified":"2025-05-02T21:12:02","modified_gmt":"2025-05-02T21:12:02","slug":"detritus","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/20-2\/poetry\/detritus\/","title":{"rendered":"Detritus"},"content":{"rendered":"

By Rose Vilanova<\/span><\/p>\n

My grandma used to have a garden.<\/span><\/p>\n

A big, flourishing yard,<\/span><\/p>\n

filled with a myriad of colors.<\/span><\/p>\n

Yet, while it was grand and beautiful,<\/span><\/p>\n

what I admired the most was the dedication.<\/span><\/p>\n

To love something so much,<\/span><\/p>\n

you put all this time and effort into making it something amazing.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She used to call me \u2018her little helper\u2019.<\/span><\/p>\n

And nothing filled me with more joy than standing in that warm sun,<\/span><\/p>\n

digging in the dirt to plant the new addition to her collection.<\/span><\/p>\n

We would travel across the house, to the back, front, and sides,<\/span><\/p>\n

making sure that the entire house was brimming with color.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sitting down with a cold glass of water was my greatest reward back then.<\/span><\/p>\n

I used to feel accomplished and proud of the work I\u2019ve done.<\/span><\/p>\n

And hearing my Grandma say how lucky she was to have me helping her,<\/span><\/p>\n

would always put a smile on my face.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When did it all disappear?<\/span><\/p>\n

When did my enjoyment turn to annoyance?<\/span><\/p>\n

The sun felt like a blistering burn across my skin.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The soil made me dirty and disgusting.<\/span><\/p>\n

The flowers, the air, the bugs,<\/span><\/p>\n

I disliked everything that I used to love.<\/span><\/p>\n

I made every excuse in the book to avoid stepping a foot into that place.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

In reality, deep down inside, I was jealous.<\/span><\/p>\n

I resented the fact that she was happy, living her life,<\/span><\/p>\n

while mine was slipping through my fingers.<\/span><\/p>\n

So I ignored her at every opportunity,<\/span><\/p>\n

And I never even saw the decay setting inside her.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The garden dwindled in number, the life fading away.<\/span><\/p>\n

Her body could no longer do it, even if her mind wanted to.<\/span><\/p>\n

Yet she continued to go out every day.<\/span><\/p>\n

The dedication I admired always stayed unwavering and strong.<\/span><\/p>\n

Until she finally let go.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I should\u2019ve been there.<\/span><\/p>\n

By her side, comforting her as she passes.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I should have done more.<\/span><\/p>\n

I should have curated her garden alongside her until her last days.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I wasn\u2019t though.<\/span><\/p>\n

I was miles away, laughing alongside my friends.<\/span><\/p>\n

All my regrets and my pain, everything lingers in my brain all the time.<\/span><\/p>\n

And I can\u2019t fix it now that she\u2019s gone.<\/span><\/p>\n

All I\u2019m left with are the memories of that sanctuary I once had.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I wish I were still standing in that morning sun,<\/span><\/p>\n

digging holes in the dirt.<\/span><\/p>\n

Planting the seeds that would make this barren landscape something magical.<\/span><\/p>\n

I wish I were still that little girl who smiled brightly at her.<\/span><\/p>\n

I wish I had more time.<\/span><\/p>\n

I never got to express how much she meant to me.<\/span><\/p>\n

Never got to thank her for all she has done.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

So instead, I sit in this garden attempting to bring life,<\/span><\/p>\n

to something dead.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Rose Vilanova My grandma used to have a garden. A big, flourishing yard, filled with a myriad of colors. Yet, while it was grand and beautiful, what I admired the most was the dedication. To love something so much, you put all this time and effort into making it something amazing.   She used… Continue Reading Detritus<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":81,"featured_media":0,"parent":21,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-350","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/20-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/350","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/20-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/20-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/20-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/81"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/20-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=350"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/20-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/350\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":463,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/20-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/350\/revisions\/463"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/20-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/21"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/20-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=350"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}