{"id":398,"date":"2025-11-16T04:45:08","date_gmt":"2025-11-16T04:45:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/21-1\/?page_id=398"},"modified":"2025-11-18T00:29:51","modified_gmt":"2025-11-18T00:29:51","slug":"uncertainty","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/21-1\/poetry\/uncertainty\/","title":{"rendered":"Uncertainty"},"content":{"rendered":"

Jennifer McClellan<\/span><\/p>\n

In your twin bed, I imagine<\/span><\/p>\n

my voice is the vibration that turns<\/span><\/p>\n

the honeybee away from your skin.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I\u2019m certain we won\u2019t<\/span><\/p>\n

make it to the other side of this<\/span><\/p>\n

the same as we began.<\/span><\/p>\n

Forever altered already, by permanent<\/span><\/p>\n

angel scratches on my tummy<\/span><\/p>\n

and orange prescription bottles<\/span><\/p>\n

with your name on the labels.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

My eyes are open, stone tired as a statue\u2019s,<\/span><\/p>\n

but everything around me moves at full tilt<\/span><\/p>\n

like spilled marbles rolling downhill,<\/span><\/p>\n

with an unstoppable urgency.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I try to keep my mouth in sync with my mind<\/span><\/p>\n

as I read a wizarding<\/em> story and imagine my voice<\/span><\/p>\n

is fine sand flowing between your busy hands.<\/span><\/p>\n

Your fingers comb through the sandbox<\/span><\/p>\n

for what, I\u2019m not sure is there to begin with.<\/span><\/p>\n

You stretch and twist, but that doesn\u2019t help<\/span><\/p>\n

tame the restless roar coursing through<\/span><\/p>\n

your body, so I bookmark our page.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sometimes it makes me tremble<\/span><\/p>\n

knowing I have just one chance with you,<\/span><\/p>\n

just one chance to be your sculptor.<\/span><\/p>\n

The dim glow of your bunny nightlight<\/span><\/p>\n

isn\u2019t good enough to offer me any clarity.<\/span><\/p>\n

I raise my hand to wipe a tear, but conceal<\/span><\/p>\n

my movement as a scratch at an itch.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A shadow on the ceiling jumps out at you.<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s just your desk chair<\/em>, I say and point<\/span><\/p>\n

to the dream catcher above your bed,<\/span><\/p>\n

It will catch all the bad dreams anyway.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

You nestle close and ask me to hug you forever.<\/span><\/p>\n

I smell the scent of watermelon shampoo in your hair<\/span><\/p>\n

and peppermint, as your breathing starts gentle<\/span><\/p>\n

waves to wash away, reset, return<\/span><\/p>\n

everything to its right place,<\/span><\/p>\n

so I can try again tomorrow<\/span><\/p>\n

with a smaller knot in my throat.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\nJennifer McClellan In your twin bed, I imagine my voice is the vibration that turns the honeybee away from your…\n<\/div>\n
Continue reading “Uncertainty”<\/span>…<\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"author":89,"featured_media":0,"parent":322,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-398","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry","entry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/21-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/398","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/21-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/21-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/21-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/89"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/21-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=398"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/21-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/398\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":400,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/21-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/398\/revisions\/400"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/21-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/322"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/21-1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=398"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}