Distance

Renee Kalagayan

My Papa’s voice made a bicep of his tongue. His tenor notes

bright stars in the Florence sky. A pearl

in my palm. Papa was

a singer until he could no longer hear the notes.

 

I’m with him in the middle of March, and Papa

puts on his Christmas with Glen Campbell CD

because he cannot bear the silence. I migrate to the kitchen

and Campbell croons,

a distant bell is ringing, what is left of Papa

trailing behind me like a lost child.

He sits like a stone in a dining chair

 

he’s pulled with difficulty into the kitchen. He says nothing,

laughs when I laugh because I am laughing.

Hugs me before bedtime and grips my arms

harder than before. Recollects to me

cherry ice cream on the couch. Buttered rice on the gas stove.

The scent of my hair. How I take my coffee.

 

What he fears he’ll forget—yellowhammer song, sprig of my night-

colored hair against his leathered palm.

He touches me like I will shatter.

He is trying to hold moments in his hands.