Brock Aldus
Five Star Reviews: 800 Cook Time: 3 Hr 20 Min Yield: 8 servings
There are several objective truths to the world. Some of which, I know. This is one of them. Truly great food is art. It is a divine culmination of skill, knowledge, and above all else, love. Food is love. Food is better when made with those you love, out of ingredients you love, through actions you love. My mother (rest her soul) taught me to love the act of cooking in all forms. She loved every grizzly aspect of it. As such, I will not shy away from the process in whole. Some look with disdain at those that take the easy way for cooking. I believe this disgust is a bridge too far, however, I would be disrespecting myself and my mother if I did not show this recipe in full. As with most of my greatest recipes, I learned it at my mother’s side as we made it dozens of times. The specific importance of this dish is that it is tied deeply to the memory of my first hunt.
First, we must discuss the importance of choosing your prey. Specifically, what makes an ideal vs subpar target. We shall start with the worst target of all. The worst body type is lean and muscular as it provides the least appetizing meat by far. But why? Let us explore: The primary factor that determines whether a cut of meat is tough or tender is the density of muscle fibers. A muscle that is used infrequently will be far more tender than one used extensively. The other side of this coin is flavor. Flavor comes primarily from fat, specifically intramuscular fat. To understand intramuscular fat first think of the fat on say your stomach. This layer of fat has dozens of positive effects on the body. However, it is only fat. This is different from intramuscular fat which can for example be found in the thigh. This fat lies within the muscle itself and when cooked it melts into the meat keeping it juicy, tender, and most of all, delicious. One that is lean and muscular will result in tough and overall bland meat. One of the least appetizing meals I have ever partaken in was a track runner. Absolutely dreadful.
When my mother took me on my first hunt I, as a foolish child, pointed to the first target I saw. He was what I would now call a beanpole. Tall, thin, with nice strong legs. Legs that made me quite literally drool from their definition. However, my mother was above all else a wise woman. She pointed out what I just did, that his body composition was not at all ideal. Additionally, we were but a boy in grade school and a dainty woman past her prime. Her hands could cook, but she did not have the raw strength to fight. Additionally, the longer the chase the higher the adrenaline. This increased level of adrenaline consequently leads to an increased pH level in the meat. This increase produces a tougher less flavorful cut of meat when all is said and done. It is imperative that the livestock is kept calm till the moment of death. As such, we moved on.
One may think that if lean and muscular is a poor choice then perhaps the opposite is better, and you should hunt the plumpest target you can find. While not a bad train of thought this is a bridge too far. I, as a child, had the same thought process. I pointed to a suitably fat woman as our potential target. Surely someone like her was rich in flavor. My mother, ever kind, nodded along praising my thinking. She then told me the catch. If a target is too fat the meat becomes greasy and unappetizing. While a target such as this is not the prime cut we were searching for, she is not fully useless. Later we will discuss the importance of additional fat and how it is an invaluable resource.
By this point I was growing frustrated with myself and my mother. I cried and begged for the answer. I wanted her help. She took my face in her hands and spoke with such softness. She calmed my anxieties and pushed me to try again. This was my first hunt. A coming of age. A sacred practice I could share with my beloved mother. It was vital that I did not give up. She was there to help me along the same way I shall help you by revealing the ideal prey and subsequently the ideal cut of meat.
As with most things in life, moderation is key. You want someone on the fatter side but not too much. What you are specifically looking for, the ideal cut of meat on a human so to speak, the cut I cooked back then and will teach you how to make now, we shall be cooking the thigh. Particularly the vastus lateralis, the largest and most powerful muscle in the quadricep muscle group. You want a target with a nice large thigh. Large muscles have greater substance as well as being high in fat. The most observant among you will question me. “Why large muscles? Would that not be tough and unappetizing as you mentioned before?” That is an excellent point and one that I raised myself at the time. So, I shall respond in the words of my mother. “To cook is to bring beauty out of imperfection. We shall make something wonderful.” Trust me when I say that the thigh shall be the ideal cut.
Near a rundown convenience store that my mother frequented as a hunting ground due to the broken cameras and it being run by a friend of the family, we found a woman that seemed to perfectly fit the criteria. She was short, shorter even than my mother so perhaps 5’0 at most. The woman was a tad chubby but not too fat with beautifully plump legs. She was at prime age being in her mid 20s, a sweet spot of sorts for high quality meat. Despite this being my first hunt, I was not to be the primary hunter in all this. Rather, my mother promised me a very important role; I was to act as the bait. After all, who can resist a child asking for help so late at night. As the woman left the store she heard a soft plea from the shadows. A sweet and tender voice asking for someone, anyone. She may have been on guard, but I am proud to say I was an excellent actor. She spotted me on my knees leaning against the dumpster with my head hung low so as not to face her. My muffled sobs drew the kind soul in as I knelt down to appear less threatening. She reached out. Her hand was mere inches from my head and more importantly her attention was undivided. All it takes is a moment of distraction for a target to meet its doom. I have mentioned how my mother was a small, older woman with hands not built for the brutality of a vicious hunt. That being said, she could be mean with a cleaver. She was a chef through and through. Her approach was silent even to me who kept a careful ear out for her. The young woman had no hope of noticing my mother. One clean chop to the back of the neck all but killed our prey. My mother never explicitly told me that she held back, however, I have always believed that she could have taken the woman’s head off had she wished to. Instead, the woman lay there half decapitated and sprawled out before me. With her spine cut clean and blood gushing out she had maybe two or three minutes of life left in her. My mother silently handed me her cleaver and looked down at the woman. I understood, it was my hunt, I needed to put her down. Those minutes of suffering would have been a cruelty my mother did not support. That being said, it did feel quite good to put her out of her misery as well as to complete my first hunt.
Though the hunt itself was over the day was long from finished. Thankfully, my mother had retrofitted our old Honda’s trunk into an icebox meaning we didn’t need to process her then and there. Simply slicing her open and removing the organs was enough to stave off any ill effects of death. We loaded her into the trunk and made our way back home. I remember that drive vividly. The way she looked with blood splattered across her face. Her hands dyed crimson, her smile as bright as the morning sun. My mother was the most beautiful woman in the world, and she was never more beautiful than after a kill. It is now that I shall reveal in full what we shall be cooking.
The most tender braised roast you could believe, one that simply melts in your mouth. For this recipe you need three main human products. The meat itself, tallow, and stock. I shall teach you how to make or acquire all three. The meat we have already discussed of course. Therefore, we shall go to the tallow. Tallow, for those unaware, is fat rendered down and purified to a point in which it may be used for cooking. This is where the aforementioned plump prey is quite useful. Having large reserves of tallow is vital for any chef. The process of making tallow is actually quite simple. Merely place a large amount of raw fat into a high walled stock pot and heat it over low allowing the fat to melt. This will cook for around 2 hours pulling out every drop of liquid fat from the flesh. Simply strain the solids from liquids via a cheesecloth and then place the tallow in a vessel of your choice to cool and solidify. Now, you have a deeply flavorful fat that can withstand most high temperatures.
Next, let us speak on making a bone broth. A good chef is a resourceful one. Waste should be avoided as much as possible as every part of the body has a wonderful use. As the name suggests we will primarily be making use of bones for this recipe. Any bone will do. Just make sure the bones fit within your pot. First, lay the bones out on a sheet pan and place it into a 400 degree Fahrenheit oven for about 30 minutes. Roasting the bones helps to draw out and deepen flavor. Next, place the bones into a large stockpot and fill about ¾ of the way with water. This is an ideal time to add used saved frozen vegetable scraps, however fresh vegetables will work just as well. Add carrots, onions, celery, and garlic into the pot. Finally, it is important to add something rich in collagen to provide even more richness and body to the stock as well as being an excellent use of less appealing ingredients. I am fond of using ears as a source of collagen. Regardless, place everything into the pot along with fresh herbs such as thyme or any other seasonings you desire. Bring the water to a low simmer for the first 30 minutes, stirring frequently and skim off any of the scum that rises to the top. This is blood and other impurities being drawn from the bones. Once no more scum is rising, place a lid on the pot. Allow the pot to lightly simmer for up to eight hours. Stir occasionally. The longer you cook the deeper the flavor you will attain. Once the time has passed, strain out the stock from the solids. Allow this to cool in the fridge in a covered container. When solidified, scrap off and discard the opaque solids at the top which are excess fat. With this done you will be left with a rich, full, wonderfully gelatinous stock that can be used for all manner of recipes.
One such recipe is of course this roast. All the steps I have just explored are tasks I completed with my mother dozens of times. I was her personal attendant given the sacred duty of vigilantly watching her pots. I had truly a wonderful childhood making hundreds of gallons of stock for the brilliant recipes my mother created. She was incredibly creative when it came to all things but especially with cooking. The night of the hunt our fridge was already full of tallow and stock meaning we were completely prepared to cook. My mother removed the carcass from our trunk and brought it to our garage where we butchered all our prey. She was quick and powerful with her cleaver taking off the thigh and roughly cutting it. She handed me the massive chunk of meat and sent me off to the kitchen to begin prepping our dinner while she finished processing the body.
By this age I was already well versed in how to skin freshly caught meat. Simply place the knife where skin meets muscle and begin gently cutting away at it keeping a careful eye on what was skin versus edible meat. Typically, you would salt and pepper the meat allowing it to sit uncovered in your fridge overnight to deeply season the meat and to draw out moisture leading to a better crust. However, due to the nature of today’s hunt and meal it was imperative we cooked the meat tonight. Therefore, I salted and peppered the roast allowing it to sit as I finished preparations. By this time my mother had returned and was by my side helping me prep. For this meal we used 6 carrots, peeled and cut into large chunks, two large diced white onion, 4 stalks of diced celery, and 4 cloves of finely minced garlic.
For garlic especially it is important to know that the amount of garlic flavor you get in your finished product is directly proportional to how finely you cut it. This is because the flavor is released when the cell walls are damaged. More damage therefore leads to more flavor. It is also why a garlic press is such a reliable tool as crushing the garlic is even more effective than cutting it.
With your veggies cut begin melting tallow into the Dutch oven on medium high heat. As a child I was designated as the “head chef” of this meal. My mother was there to assist and observe while I took the reins. I had watched her cook recipes like this dozens of times before. Yet still my nerves were difficult to ignore. Her presence helped to ground me and drive me forward. For a stainless steel pan, it is crucial you allow the cooking fat to get quite hot which prevents any possible sticking to the bottom. Place the meat into the pan making sure you hear the sizzle of the sear without the fat popping up aggressively. Sear all sides for about a minute each developing color on all sides. On stainless steel the pan will release the meat when it is ready. If it is difficult to remove it is likely not fully browned. Searing will improve the texture, appearance, and flavor of your roast by helping to create a seal for juices and flavor. With all sides seared, remove the meat and place in your onions, carrots, and celery, with the garlic coming in only a minute before the others are done. Sauté the veggies allowing them to soak up the fat and brown slightly, be careful not to burn the garlic. Once browned add in 1 cup of a dry red wine and deglaze the pot of any fond with a wooden spoon scraping the bottom. Then, add in 3 cups of your stock. Place your meat back into the pan adding more wine until only the top 1 inch of the meat is exposed to the air. Finally, add in 2 bay leaves as well as 2-3 sprigs of fresh rosemary and thyme.
With all the ingredients prepared we set the pot to a low simmer, covering it to cook for the next 3 hours. Stir occasionally to ensure nothing is sticking to the bottom. As we set the pot and went off to prepare various accoutrements for the dinner my mother took my face in her hands. She said to me, “My dear Alexi, you were phenomenal today. May we have many more successful hunts and make many more meals together. Above all else, I love you, Bug. Congratulations on your hunt.”
When the meat is tender pull it from the braising liquid and serve however you see fit. As I hope this recipe has proved, cooking does not have an end point. It is an endlessly iterative process of love and passion. The meat can be used for sandwiches, eaten atop rice, or, what my mother and I did, served atop mashed potatoes as is the classic preparation of braised human.
Despite being cooked by a far inferior chef, that meal was one of the greatest of my life. Not because of my skill or technique. But rather from the pure love poured into that night. That taste is one I shall endlessly pursue. The taste of love and devotion from my dear mother. Never stop cooking. I love you, mom.
-Alexi Ricciardi
The Gourmand