{"id":111,"date":"2026-04-07T21:34:27","date_gmt":"2026-04-07T21:34:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/21-2\/?page_id=111"},"modified":"2026-04-09T17:48:51","modified_gmt":"2026-04-09T17:48:51","slug":"chew","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/21-2\/poetry\/chew\/","title":{"rendered":"Chew"},"content":{"rendered":"

Varsha Ganesh<\/span><\/p>\n

when i was younger i used to chew on the tips<\/span><\/p>\n

of my thumb until i could peel away the skin with my teeth. conditioned to find comfort in the <\/span>taste of blood. when i was 13 i went to the dentist and he asked me if i bite my cheeks a lot and i said<\/span><\/p>\n

i guess i do<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

when i talk on the phone with my mother i wonder what she would think of me<\/span><\/p>\n

of the way i sit in my chair<\/span><\/p>\n

in a tank top and boxers with my legs propped up on my desk. she asks me how school is going and i flick my lighter while i tell her that its fine. she talks while i imagine<\/span><\/p>\n

swallowing it whole and lighting it from within my stomach until the flames burn through my trachea and i blow out smoke through my mouth. i hope the last thing i say is “okay\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

lately i wake up in the mornings with my throat raw and my chest heavy. my mother says i grind my teeth in my sleep but i never asked her<\/span><\/p>\n

if she heard me scream from my bedroom at night. i wonder if she would notice. i wonder if she wakes up screaming too<\/span><\/p>\n

the two of us have the highest spice tolerance in our family and we love the smell of smoke <\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

six hours ago i chewed on my thumb until blood filled my mouth and coated my front teeth and when the girl in the mirror looked at me like a rabid animal i felt more like myself than i ever had in years.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Varsha Ganesh when i was younger i used to chew on the tips of my thumb until i could peel away the skin with my teeth. conditioned to find comfort in the taste of blood. when i was 13 i went to the dentist and he asked me if i bite my cheeks a lot… <\/p>\n

Read more Chew<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":90,"featured_media":0,"parent":21,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-111","page","type-page","status-publish","entry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/21-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/111","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/21-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/21-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/21-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/90"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/21-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=111"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/21-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/111\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":113,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/21-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/111\/revisions\/113"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/21-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/21"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/euphemism.illinoisstate.edu\/21-2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=111"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}