Charlie Tisch
the school bus is waiting kids
pick up your oversized science project from the sidewalk and don’t hit me with it on
your way to your seatroger
goddamit nelson quit your goddamn loud swearing ass
where do these kids learn words like that I mean seriously he’s six
seven stops to go
I swear if that boy lowers the window ooonneee mmooorree notch
samantha and jessica must have had a sleepover last night they still have pajama bottoms on
they chit chat up and down this bus about boys and they’re halfway to sixteen
six stops to go
that nelson boy reminds me of a kid I knew growing up
last I saw him was in a motel lot outside of town
I heard his name on the news
shheeeesshh! I hope none of the kids saw that
ah hell they don’t know the rules of the road
they probably heard the horn though
why is there someone chasing the bus
six stops to go
I should have gotten more sleep last night
ohh I drove past billy and bo’s stopwhoops
that must be their mom trying to flag me down
I bet she goes on afternoon runs
I mean look at that body
bounce bounce
she looks a little upset
it’s okay though, I’m a verrry approachable guy
five stops to go
I wonder if the top of my bus is white or yellow
somebody once told me UPS trucks don’t have brown tops to save money on paint
why does this guy still have his blinker on?
people are idiots
I never remember this brown hair girl’s name
she sits near hope normally
not today though I wonder if they’re having a fight
but what do little girls fight about?
boys? wait, they’re five
four stops to go
I disagree with our rule to open the doors at train crossings
I mean, what’s the point?
I could totally jump a motorcycle over this moving train
straddle the ducati I don’t have and get it up to 75mph and I’m flyin over that thing
how does adrenaline work?
are you kidddddddding me
what could they possibly be carrying at 7:38 in the morning
cows? or like millions of boxes of cheetos – probably not
one could only dream
fiiiiiiinally I’m free
okay dumb car behind me I’m moving lay off your fucking horn
why are you still honking at me?
if I were in my 97 honda civic I’d pull right beside and give em the bird
probably throw some coins at their windshield too – my horn doesn’t work
oh for fucks sake goddamnit nelson
no one besides your mother wants to see those pale prepubescent buttcheeks
I won’t report the kid though. he’s alright
this mirror never lies
this one here is a new stop for me, got it last tuesday
watch your step kids, don’t want to fill out another incident report
three weeks ago little ol’ Jimmy sliced his ring finger open reaching for gum sticking under his seat
fricken idiot
three stops to go
I never wore a seatbelt on the bus growing up
we would always make fun of the kids who did
look at this unconventional bag this kid’s got
I wonder if he’s ridiculed for bringing a briefcase to school
he can’t be any older than nine
two stops to go
this route doesn’t make any sense to me
I’ve picked up three new stops along this route this year and it blows
I have to wake up twenty-five minutes earlier each morning just to zig zag in stupid -like- zig zags
like, my dude Freddy literally picks kids up two blocks from this stop on his route
speed bump!
yep most of these kids don’t wear seatbelts either, only roger
danny got pretty high on that one, must have hit his head on the ceiling, heard a bang
impressive
back spots are the best spots
little jimmy has been crying about his parent’s divorce the last couple weeks
kid just won’t get over it. marriage is a sham I keep telling him
“Is your parent’s divorce almost over?”
next stop school
“Alright kids exit the same way you came in”
“Don’t forget your lunches”
Dumbasses