by Nick Roberts
(CONTENT WARNING: SUICIDE/MENTAL HEALTH/BLOOD)
it’s important to sleep. not too much but not too little i’m not talking three hours or thirteen hours i’m talking sleeping properly every night. you have to start eating. if you don’t start eating your brain will turn to stone like one of medusa’s victims & your severed head will be on display in some obscure art museum in southern france for fat american tourists to take polaroid photos of which they will then print & hang in their suburbian whitewashed living rooms like big game hunting trophies. you have to start doing your hair. i’m talking washing drying cutting styling not covering with hats anymore i’m talking doing your hair. also fucking stop bleaching it or it’s going to fall out & you are going to cry & you’ll be a mess & there’s nothing you can do about it. you can try to sew it back on but your scalp will bleed too much the red racing down your fingers cold & anemic you’ll have to press your lips to it just to taste it but then spit it out. it won’t be like it used to be when you would sit in the bathtub & do it so you’ll get tired & fall asleep again. it’s also important to talk to someone. it’s really fucking cliche but you need to talk to someone about it or no one will know when you’re gone so it’s time to talk to someone about it before you are gone because when you are gone people will ask questions about where you went & why you went there & everyone will just have to say that you went on a cruise to mexico to escape the frigid winter winds of the midwest your toes always buried in the warm beach sand. you have to start wearing clothes that aren’t three sizes too big it’s time to realize that your body is precious & can be seen & doesn’t need to be covered in burial kimonos constantly. it’s time to smile again & no i’m not talking no teeth smile i’m talking full teeth smile full on white full on top on bottom no grinding this time just smile & breathe & let people love you it’s important to sleep not too much but not too little it’s important to eat it’s important to love to live to learn to laugh to listen to live to live yes to live because if you don’t live then why are you here you have to live it’s crucial you live come on just give in & just live stay alive you can do it this is
how to not kill yourself: a step by step survival guide to stay afloat
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