Though the rain falls
Upon this autumn night
I sleep with hunger in my gut
Teeth unbrushed, books stacked shut
I look to the lights that line the walls of the room I never leave
A peace too quiet for my mind too keep
I steel myself away for another slumber
Fighting thoughts of the people I must have murdered in passing
Sifting through the memories of dead selves, losing feeling in my body
Another batch of cells sectioned off away from me
I don’t like pictures
They’re what I want to be
My friends take better ones of them, and they smile naturally
If they’re so happy
And I’m so me
I struggle to wonder just what God made me to be
Touch of malice
Touch of stone
Touch of genius to consider all that I
will never know
I feel myself learn how to crawl on back to bed
Reflecting on a memory
I used to read a book instead
When it rained late so heavy
Now my frightened mind needs distraction from the pain
I know the symptoms of modern man
All too well
I don’t want to die like him
But there’s no life to live in Hell
Is this to be my home
Lonely but not alone
A life yet lived inside of me that I will never know?