by Gale Acuff
One day, if it’s a day and it couldn’t
be a night, either, I’ll be dead and up
in Heaven, standing in line and waiting
to be judged by God, hunting
for me in the Book of Life, hunting for
my name, that is, and if it’s not there and
it probably won’t be I guess He’ll point
to the left or right, meaning Get out of
this line and into the one for Hell, so
I will and even though I’ll want to stand
my ground (I’m being sent to burn so what
else can He do to me that’s worse?) I’ll go
–I know when I’m not wanted but maybe
Satan will learn to love me down below,
after one of God’s angels drops me in
-to the Lake of Everlasting Fire, I
figure that if God and Jesus reject
me that I can find someone who needs me
in Perdition and like I say if no
one in the Good Place wants me around then
I’ll find someone who does and if by some
miracle God tries to redeem me just
hear me tell Him, No thanks, I’m perfect where
I am. I can’t wait to see the look on
His face, if He has one. After Sunday
School today I told Miss Hooker my tale,
she’s our Sunday School teacher and she had
to plop down on her stool and I had to
steady her so she wouldn’t fall but if
she had and died to boot she’d have gone to
Heaven sure–I’m not certain if I did
the right thing but anyway, as for me,
just 10, I’m not saved and will go to Hell
if I don’t get salvation but the more
I think about it the less I truly
care. Oh my God, Miss Hooker whimpered–that’s
simply awful. She’s got a way with words.