Issue 10.1 Fall 2014

issue 10.1 cover image

 

 

Today and Tomorrow

 

John Perkins

 

 

I woke up one morning and took a deep breath. I could feel the return of the sun. I decided that today would be a good day to stretch my legs with a nice stroll and maybe visit my neighbors. I started down the path and smiled, relishing the feel of the sun through the leaves. It was going to be a good day.

 

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When I woke up this morning I knew I had to get away. It wasn't even 9 and they were already fighting about something. They're a couple of alcoholics. I haven't seen them get along in years. I've occasionally wondered if they drive each other to drink or if they stay together to have more money for alcohol. It didn't matter. I wasn't wanting to listen to the accusations or the shatter of thrown dishes. I slipped on my boots and climbed out the window. Today was a day for not being home.

 

 

It was a nice day outside. The sun was out and there was a bit of a breeze. It was warm for April and I smiled as the sun warmed my back through my jacket. I headed out of town, I had nowhere else to go. I could see the treeline up ahead and decided to lose myself for a while. I followed the paths I had walked for years, some of them were even worn down by me. When I was here I was safe. The things back at home could never touch me as I walked under these trees. They don't know where I go, they don't care to know.

 

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I walked under the canopy of leaves, greeting my friends as I passed. Neighbors I've had for some time and a few new faces. There are always new faces when I go out visiting. I wended my way down to the river to wet my toes. The reflection of the sky in the slow water is always a sight. As I allowed myself to be mesmerized by it, I was pulled from my reverie by the snap of a fallen twig. There was a boy here. He looked about as old as I did and he hadn't seen me yet. I decided to sneak up and see what he was about.

 

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I found myself at the river that runs through these woods. The sound of the water over the rocks always soothes me and on days that start this poorly I really need it. A twig snapped under my foot as I walked onto the peninsula and sat down. I hugged my knees to my chest and soaked in the sounds of the river and the forest. I could hear something chewing through a nut and it made me smile to think of little rodent teeth gnawing away at some of the last of the winter's caches.

 

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He was sitting with his back to me, so I tiptoed up behind him very carefully. He was talking to himself quietly, something about useless parents or parrots or some such thing, when he saw my shadow. He stood up quickly and dusted himself off. The emotions flashed over his face in an instant, surprise, anger, embarrassment, and for a moment I thought I might have seen a glimmer of hope, before fixing itself into suspicion and perplexity.

 

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Suddenly a shadow fell in front of me. I almost jumped out of my skin, no one comes here. No one from town has been here in years. I know because if they had there would have been footprints other than mine and litter. She must have heard me talking to myself, but she didn't say anything. She looked at me curiously but didn't say anything. I started to relax, I didn't recognize her from town so she probably wouldn't bring anyone back to ruin my safe place. Maybe she was new, but something about her seemed to utterly fit here. I gradually realized that I was looking at the most beautiful person I had ever seen with a glower on my face. I wiped that look off my face as soon as I noticed and she smiled at me. There are no

words that do justice to her smile, it was perfection. She turned and started to walk away and I followed.

 

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He didn't seem happy to have been disturbed from his thoughts, but as he thought I could see him relax. I had meant to surprise him, not upset him, so I was happy to see that he didn't stay looking upset. I started to go and continue with my visits and he followed me. I had expected him to go back to his monologue, but he followed a few paces behind me smiling softly and didn't say anything. His presence didn't bother me so I continued on with my visits with him following behind. When my friends asked about him I told the truth to some and lies to others. To one I said he was my brother come for a visit, another I told that he fell from the sky, a third that he was a great warrior. It didn't matter really what the truth was, none of them tried to talk to him and he didn't try to talk to any of them. And so we passed the rest of the day until sunset.

 

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I followed her as she walked through the trees, brushing her fingers across bark and through leaves. At some trees she lingered longer than at others, but there was not a tree that we passed without at least a moment's touch. I considered asking why but I never quite got around to it. We walked together the rest of the day. I didn't even really notice the time passing until the sun started to near the horizon and she turned toward the direction of town. I followed her until we were almost out of the woods, but then we walked around a tree and she wasn't there anymore. I looked all over for her, but she must have just gone back to town and I didn't see her or something because I couldn't find her in the woods.

 

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I walked back to my home and stretched out, relaxing, and shut my eyes for the night. He was an interesting boy, maybe I'll see him again.

 

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When I got back to my house I realized that I hadn't eaten all day. They were both out at the bar, so I microwaved a couple hotdogs and went to bed. I'm not used to walking that much and I fell right to sleep, thoughts of her filling my mind as sleep took me.

 

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Sun comes. Sun goes.

 

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I went back to the tree where I lost her when I woke up the next day. I waited all day and had brought a lunch with me this time. She didn't show up. She didn't show up the next day either, or the next week. I stopped going back to that tree at all after a few months. I'm a bit slow, but I finally realized that she must have just been a visiting relative of someone in town. I went on with my life, got a job, got married, found myself making my parents' mistakes and hating myself for it. I got divorced, got drunk, got sober, got drunk again, threw myself into my work. I got promoted enough to be able to retire, so I retired. I haven't thought of that day in some time now, but it always comes back to me, that one perfect day. It's been so long since I've walked through that forest, it's time I went back. I walk through the trees, my feet remember the way and I find myself back at her tree. I don't know why I think of it as her tree, but her tree it is. I sit down and rest my back against the tree. I've been so tired lately, it's nice to rest my old bones in this place.

 

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I feel the sun rising and it warms me. It's been some time, but I think I'll go visiting again. As I step out I see an old man sitting there and for some reason he calls to mind the last time I went visiting. There was a boy and he walked with me. I put my hand on his shoulder and he looks up at me. His eyes go wide and he gasps for breath. He laughs once and then lays still. Maybe I won't go out today after all.

 

 

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